The holidays are said to be, "the most wonderful time of the year," but, for single people, those in bad relationships and the unemployed or underemployed, the holidays only serve to highlight pain.
For the single folks, it's often the loneliness and the reminder that they don't have a partner or family that gets them down. For the unhappily married, this time of year often has a magnifying effect on the problems, dysfunction and the anguish of whether or not to leave after the New Year. And for the greater than normal segment of the population that is in dire financial straits, it's just plain depressing.
In case you haven't noticed, we are experiencing extreme financial times: the economy is at the lowest point it's been since the Great Depression and joblessness is up to 10.2% according to the Bureau of Labor Statistics, the highest it's been in 26 years (http://www.bls.gov/). Financial analysts are throwing around numbers about deficits in the BILLIONS of dollars (California $42, Arizona $3.16, and New York, $3.2 billion!)
One of the reasons we're in this financial mess is because we have all been overindulgent for decades on just about every level possible. It's now coming back to haunt us in a big way.
No other time of year exemplifies our hedonistic behavior more than the holidays, Americans traditionally go overboard starting from Thanksgiving on through the New Year - we eat too much, drink too much, spend too much and any self discipline we had in place goes out the window as if we're obliged to overindulge.
But, for those who can't, or don't want to continue these practices, here are a few ideas for paring back this season:
A) Don't attend every party you get invited to and, for those you do attend, make a point to stay for a short period of time (two hours is nice and short) If you hold a party, keep it small and make less food. Have a potluck and ask people to bring a dish for four instead of twelve.
B) Make plans that bring you joy but cost little or nothing. For example, instead of going to an expensive restaurant, drive to your favorite nature preserve and have a picnic (if whether permits - but even in bad weather, you can sit in your car).
C) Don't overspend. If you don't have the money you usually do and are tempted to wrack up some debt on your credit card to look good in the eyes of others, stop yourself before you even start! Make agreements with others not to give and receive gifts this year. Or hold a Christmas lottery, or, better yet, create an inexpensive gift. If you don't trust yourself not to spend, ask a trusted friend to hold on to your credit cards until January.
If need be, explain to your friends, family and loved ones that this is an especially difficult year for you and, as a way to take care of yourself, you will be doing things a bit differently this holiday season.
Not everyone will understand or like your choices as they may feel dejected or that you're breaking traditions, but your good mental health is more important.
Who knows, you may start new traditions by inspiring those around you to take better care of themselves as well.
