Like a lot of people my age, I joined Facebook to reconnect with high school friends in anticipation of my 20th high school reunion. As part of the lead up to the reunion, classmates were asked to post high school pictures to a shared photo album. Revisiting the pictures was a LOT of fun (like a personalized version of VH1's "I Love the 80's" - particularly when you hit a streak of photos from an event you had pretty much forgotten). It's also been fascinating to read people's comments on photos, and I'm noticing a reliable pattern of gender differences in self-deprecating humor. The women routinely comment on their hair (big!), their jeans (acid washed), their sweaters (oversized), and their weight (fewer pounds than now). The men have posted tongue-in-cheek comments along the lines of, "It shall remain one of the enduring mysteries of human history how none of you ladies managed to land me. What a handsome [man] I am!" and "Man, I look good in pink!" and "Think I'm hot at 37? That's me at 17. You can look but you can't touch!"
I find the men's comments hysterically funny - particularly, when paired with their photos, and I wish that I felt the freedom to lavish false praise on a photo of myself without the fear that someone might think that I actually think I looked "hot." But I don't, and I wouldn't dare to make that kind of comment on a female friend's photo for fear that it would seem that I was encouraging people to laugh at her picture. And, apparently, I'm not alone - at least not among my female friends. So, instead we use self-deprecating humor - pointing out our past fashion faux pas or current higher weight. It's certainly relatable -eliciting a barrage of "me too's" or even "mine is worse." But it's not quite as much fun, and it strikes me as unfortunate that, for women, saying mean things about one's self is a way to be funny and nice, but for men, the reverse seems true. I think I may have humor envy.
