Still Not Happy?

The quest for true happiness is perceived by many to ultimate goal of human existence. When asked what they wish for themselves, most people say that they would like to be happy. Everything else they wish for themselves is just means to an end. While happiness has always been a topic of interest and aspiration, its study, understanding, and the means to accomplish it recently has become a focal point of Western civilization. The reason is simple: we've done all that we can, and we are still not happy.

Think about America in the late 60s: pink Cadillacs, suburban houses with lush lawns, abundance of food, clothing, gadgets... All of the economic indicators said that we cracked the code. Yet the rate of depression is in constant rise since that golden time, and the average onset age of clinical depression is now in the early teen years as opposed to midlife back then.

What went wrong?

Developed countries became "developed" because they work to optimize economic indications of success like: economic growth, more jobs, and increasing purchasing power and average income. The very basic underlying assumption of the science of economy is that having more makes a person happier. It turns out though, that once one's basic needs are met, that is no longer true.

Researchers like Martin Seligman, Sonja Lyubomirsky, and Daniel Nettle found a few things that start to explain the happiness paradox:

(A) We don't know what will make us happy
(B) Some stuff gives us a quick kick but it does not last (so we go for more and still are not happy)
(C) Our circumstances determine only about 10% of our happiness

The combination of these findings results in a typical rat race scenario where we constantly struggle for the next job, food, vacation, house, car, etc, only to find out time and again that we are back where we started at the happiness game.

The solution? Well, LOVE.

When one tries to take the findings of positive psychology and make some overarching conclusions, it looks like a lot of it boils down to love, compassion, generosity, giving, and empathy: focusing less on the self and more on the collective, a principle that many different traditions and religions preach.

Deepak Chopra's new book The Ultimate Happiness Prescription takes a holistic approach to Happiness, and shows the common threads between what positive psychologists have found, values of different spiritual traditions, and the new thought movement:
- Letting go of your ego (equals - gratitude, forgiveness, compassion)
- Listening to your heart rather than your mind
- Challenging negative thoughts
- Being a part of a supportive, close, honest, and loving community

So here's to humility, compassion, and of course: gratitude. The stuff that true happiness is made of. Happy Thanksgiving! :)