It seems unfair to generalize about women who are childfree, but just go online, and you'll come across myriad examples of this very topic. Sadly, many of these generalizations are negative and hurtful, and the comments are popping up worldwide. Let's take a look at a few that I've run across lately.
Childfree women are less reliable at work than mothers.
Carol Sarler of the Daily Mail writes that bosses are right to distrust women who are childfree by choice. She then goes on to describe the virtues of working moms over non-mothers, the latter whom she portrays as irresponsible partiers hung over and falling asleep on their computers. Her article on this topic includes a drawing showing the mom energetically working away while the childfree woman is slouched over the keyboard.
My personal observation, as well as what I've heard from untold numbers of childfree women and moms alike is the total opposite. Mothers in today's society are spread too thin, and many wish they could be at home with their children. Financial demands require them to work. Few mothers have the desire or the energy to put their all into a career. Mothering means fewer hours of sleep and down time in general, as well as preoccupation with events happening at home and having to miss work due to sick children or extracurricular kid activities.
Childfree women are selfish.
The assumption here is that having children results in one being less self-focused and more attuned to the needs of others. According to Egypt's Online Magazine for Women, www.Hanem.com, a woman who chooses to not be a mom is viewed by others with great suspicion and curiosity. Other women wonder if she was abused as a child or is barren, and the childfree woman is often pitied. She is also seen as selfish.
The author of Hanem's blog suggests that the opposite is true-having children simply in response to societal pressure is selfish and unfair to mother and child alike. I would add that many moms are focused on the needs of their offspring to such an extent that they have limited interest in things outside of their small world. Plus, mothers have much less time and energy than do childfree adults to be citizens of the world. And many children are brought into the world with no pre-planning, the result of unprotected sex, and this is the most selfish act of all.
Childfree women are cold and unnurturing.
It's assumed by many that if you don't have kids, you don't like children and you are an unaffectionate human being. But face it, the need for affection and nurturing is independent of parenting. I've come across many parents who don't like to hug and likewise many childfree women are super touchy-feely. And the same goes with the need and desire to nurture. Many childfree women have pets that they adore as much as a mother loves her child. Alternatively, many women deny that they have a nurturing instinct. In an earlier blog, I wrote about a woman's natural need to nurture, and many women, moms and non-moms alike, set me straight in letting me know that this is not an across the board need.
Let's make a pledge, moms and childfree women alike, to put an end to the criticism and slamming of alternative life choices. We're all in this together, and face it, the future of the world depends on us working as a team.
