Are you currently dealing with a bully at home, at work, or in school? The most important thing to keep in mind about bullies is that they pick on those whom they perceive as weaker, so as long as you remain passive and compliant, you make yourself a target. Many bullies are also cowards on the inside. When their victims begin to show backbone and stand up for their rights, the bully will often back down. This is true in schoolyards, as well as in domestic and office environments.
On an empathetic note, studies show that many bullies are victims of violence themselves. This in no way excuses bullying behavior, but may help you consider the bully in a more equanimous light.
“When people don't like themselves very much, they have to make up for it. The classic bully was actually a victim first.” — Tom Hiddleston
“Some people try to be tall by cutting off the heads of others.” — Paramhansa Yogananda
“I realized that bullying never has to do with you. It's the bully who's insecure.” — Shay Mitchell
For more on how to be assertive, see my articles “Are You Too Nice? Seven Ways to Gain Attention and Respect,” and “Ten Keys to Handling Difficult People.”
When confronting bullies, be sure to place yourself in a position where you can safely protect yourself, whether it’s standing tall on your own, having other people present to witness and support, or keeping a paper trail of the bully’s inappropriate behavior. In cases of physical, verbal, or emotional abuse, consult with counseling, legal, law enforcement, or administrative professionals on the matter. It’s very important to stand up to bullies, and you don’t have to do it alone.
If you need help on how to stop bullies, click stopbullyingnow.gov.
For more in-depth tools on how to effectively handle difficult individuals, download free excerpts of my publications (click on titles or covers): “How to Communicate Effectively and Handle Difficult People” and “Communication Success with Four Personality Types.”
Also available: "The 7 Keys to Life Success," "Wealth Building Attitudes, Values, and Habits," "Branding Your Career Like Steve Jobs — Seven Essential Lessons in Work Success," “Successful Office Networking,” and “Seven Predictors of Long-Term Relationship Success.”
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Preston Ni, M.S.B.A. is available as a presenter, workshop facilitator, and private coach. For more information, write to email@example.com, or visit www.nipreston.com.
© 2014 by Preston C. Ni. All rights reserved worldwide.