Choke

So, what advice to you give to your friend?

quite interesting, i liked the example you brought, it made things really clear

Wow, did you REALLY write, "If you are a subordinate male - either monkey or human - premature ejaculation is the best way, or maybe the only way, to inseminate a female."

> What exactly is a "subordinate human male"? This term screams for an explanation.

> You argue that the BEST way for a "subordinate human male" to inseminate a human female is premature ejaculation? Do you really believe premature ejaculation is the BEST or ONLY way "subordinate" men can inseminate a woman?

> Are you saying that a "subordinate human male" is worrying about a "dominate human male" in the area watching him have sex and that he will likely be attacked?

> What exactly do you propose for "how a spouse can be supportive in the sack" to a "subordinate human male"?

I completely concur with the comment above ... this really is an outrage. You say that "these rhesus macaques show us why premature ejaculation REALLY HAPPENS" for adult men. As if there is one cause (or something similar to your example is the MAIN cause!). And talking about "subordinate" adult men ... what is this, Nazi Germany? You must be out of your effin mind. Shame on you!

This article is rather silly. You're equating apples and oranges here when you compare the human male to a rhesus monkey. What pray-tell do you propose is the human equivalent to the social strata of the rhesus monkey that produces "subordinate" males?

You again compare apples to oranges when you compare the anxiety in a speech to pre-intercourse anxiety. The anxiety around a speech has to do with fear of direct personal failure, while much of anxiety around sex has to do with failure to please another, an indirect failure. Difference in ease to augment either performance to a satisfiable end regardless of start aside.

The only real parallel is that both in reality are simple challenges of cognitive dissonance with what we believe about ourselves before the act running into the fear of what we might discover.

The solution in both cases being letting go of whatever we imagined ourselves as before we were confronted with having to perform the act, speech or bedroom gymnastics. Coupled with studying compassion towards ourselves, and communicating our desire for the speech or act to go well to our audience to communicate our anxiety; which in itself leads to only positive support and our own confidence. And in the end, seeking feedback in a show of that confidence.

So, I came across the book CHOKE at the bookstore yesterday and it looked interesting so I flipped through it. After placing to one side the bloated self-importance, the "science"-babble, the silly examples, the false promises, the filler, all that was left were some painfully obvious interventions (reaffirm your self worth, meditate away the worries, reinterpret your reactions). Just the same tired old interventions that I have come across in bookstore magazines for 20+ years. I'm surprised you didn't include "KISS: Keep It Super Simple." No great psychological insight, no novel techniques, no brilliant analysis, no interpersonal understandings, no childhood or family dynamics, etc. Moreover, the author over-promises: "Tips to ENSURE SUCCESS under stress" ... look, no tip ENSURES SUCCESS under stress for everyone or all the time! "Writing about your worries before a test or presentation PREVENTS choking." Look, there is no intervention that PREVENTS choking under pressure for everyone or all the time. All the lab studies are one-shot deals ... no longitudinal or in-depth work to see which interventions work best or last. No evidence-based treatment protocol for choking (just generalities that "might" help). The ONLY thing that was interesting was the piece about stereotypes. Amazes me that you can fool yourself and fool so many others just because of your "authority" that you really have something wonderful to share on this topic ... sad. Are there no more critical thinkers out there? Is the field of sports science really this weak? These folks need to earn their keep and do more meaningful research on this topic. So, save your money rather than buying this book and get a good applied sports psych book or more importantly meet with a licensed professional psychologist or sports psychologist to work through your personal performance challenges (gain insight and self-understanding ... go beyond generic interventions)!

merci afin de cette nouvelle, un papier utile rapide et complet d'ailleurs , super.

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