Charting the Depths

When you are told you have a brain disease, it's not your fault. To me, that wasn't reassuring. It was disempowering. My depression started when I lost my job. How I got over it was I started going to church (talk about uplifting - pills and therapy don't match the feeling) and used self-help books.

I believe that some people are naturally prone to depression. Other people get swept up in the disease model when they're like I was and just reacting to something, obvious or not obvious, gradual or not, etc.

I know for me, it helped that I generally am an optimistic, half-glass full kind of person, so when I had to battle depression, it helped that I was optimistic about my chances of recovering. I know some people are more pessimistic in their thinking and I can imagine it makes it harder to recover. Also, I read a lot selp-help books too and I think that really helps, like the other person mentioned.

My family upbringing was not a very nice one until, my Mom divorced my Dad and took my brother and my 16 year old self to start a new. Life was good, but since have been diagnosed with depression, anxiety, & PTSD. The PTSD symptoms have lessened over the years. My therapist has been helping me figure out how to dismantle the anxiety as it occurs. But the depression, well, that's been with me for a long time. Too much damage has been done. There is no "after" and I accept that. Therapy and medication help ease the bad feeling. Before that though, I just dealt with it for years. And my outlook for living is the same now as it was then:

I am strong. I've been through a lot in the past, nothing I could ever face in the future could compare. Hence, I can make it through any hardship life will throw at me.

Despite the hurt I feel inside and all the ugliness I've seen and felt, there is extreme beauty in the world. Because of what I've been through I am better equipped to see and behold that beauty. And to feel joy at such things! Yes, I can do that. People with depression can and do feel other emotions. Even at the same time as feeling depressed.

Also, I never viewed myself as having a "disease", this just how I am. I have depression, just like I have allergies. It just is. I don't see it as a stigma. It is in some ways both a curse and a blessing to me. If that makes sense.

To the Anonymous at the top of the page:
Although I haven't attended church in some years, I do read The Bible. This passage is one that really helped me in regards to my depression:
2 Corinthians 12:10
That is why, for Christ's sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong.

i think the problem is that the most prevalent treatment for depression is medications which is a modern thing. i think the other thing is the myth of the chemical imbalance, as well as being too much blamed on genes. but if you look at buddhism, they have had methods for healing suffering for thousands of years.

i myself dealt with depression for 6 years, 4 of which were severe. and for the past year i have been in dbt which is based heavily on zen and mindfulness. and after several months of constantly being aware of emotion pain, anger, and shame im currently depression free.

and it was only by running towards the pain all these unresolved feelings were allowed to come up along with repressed memories. and it feels i gained so much from my depression such as handling easily emotion pain the average person doesn't ever experience, more and more its getting to a point where im almost grateful for my depression.

here's another story of someone overcoming depression for good, simply by feeling what the person feels over and over until it goes away.

http://tinybuddha.com/blog/getting-to-the-root-of-pain-to-work-through-i...

i have also read many stories on people overcoming bipolar disorder and schizophrenia then go years never to experience it again

http://voices-of-recovery-schizophrenia.blogspot.com/

but tell that to a psychiatrist, most wouldn't believe you could be cured from those disorders. so it seems the modern psychiatry view is at least partly to blame