In recent postings, we've explored two important legs of a three-legged stool that supports stopping overshopping, self-kindness and self-care. Today we look at the crucial third leg, self-respect. Taken with the other two, it offers a solid base from which the thoughtful overshopper can reach for change.
Self-respect is having the proud feeling that you matter. It's the natural outcome of holding what you see with acceptance and compassion. People who've suffered abuse as children or young adults internalize the negative messages they've heard from others; they lose self-respect and don't acknowledge their own worth. Compromised self-respect must be reclaimed-and it can be. The wonderful American poet Galway Kinnell tells us this, unforgettably, in "Saint Francis and the Sow":
The bud
stands for all things,
even for those things that don't flower,
for everything flowers, from within, of self-blessing;
though sometimes it is necessary
to reteach a thing its loveliness,
to put a hand on its brow
of the flower
and retell it in words and in touch
it is lovely
until it flowers again from within, of self-blessing.
