Buddy System

Understanding men and their friendships

Dr. Geoffrey Greif is a Professor at the University of Maryland School of Social Work and author of Buddy System: Understanding Male Friendships. See full bio

March 2, 2009

Men and their closest friends

In previous posts, I have written about the other levels of male friendship that men have - just friends (those who are only acquaintances), rust friends (old friends from way back), and trust friends (those guys you like but who are not in the inner circle). The must friend, today's topic, is the closest friend. If something extraordinary happens (a divorce, death, job loss OR an engagement, birth, winning the lottery), you would call these men immediately. Read More

February 15, 2009

The Man Date

My last blog discussed how men have male friendships in four categories (just, trust, must, and rust friends). That discussion focused on trust friends - guys you like and trust but who are not in your closest circle of friends. One responder recently asked how a guy can become closer friends with another guy, in other words, how do guys handle the man date? Read More

February 10, 2009

Men and the friends they trust

A previous post discussed the first of the four categories of friends described in Buddy System - the just friend, that is some one who is an acquaintance. Another level of friend is the trust friend (the other two are must and rust friends). Read More

February 5, 2009

Men and Dieting Competition

I am quoted in an article in today's New York Times (Style Section) about men who bet each other about how much weight they can lose. Essentially, this is a new form of competition. Men make bets and, depending on the nature of the bet, have to pay each other, give to a charity they like, or give to a poliitician they hate, if they lose. (Imagine a Democrat paying out to George Read More

January 25, 2009

When friends are just acquaintances

The February, 2009 issue of Men's Health Magazine quotes my four categories of friendships (see p. 24 of that issue) from Buddy System: Understanding male friendships. Read More

January 20, 2009

Bromance and Obama

The term "bromance" has crept into common usage in the last year in relation to the "crushes" that straight men hae for their male friends. The term has also been linked to the male hero worship that men (and boys) feel for famous athletes, musicians, and others. We can most recently add to this the crush that males feel towards politicians, too, with the attraction m Read More

January 5, 2009

2008 movies not buddy films

As I look back on the top films of 2008, none show men in close relationships with other men friends. Picking through the end of the year reviews, the following films are mentioned as contenders for Best film awards: Read More

December 17, 2008

Do men learn about friendships from their fathers?

Did your father have friendships with other men? Did you learn about how to make friends friends from him? We interviewed 386 men for Buddy System: Understanding male friendships and asked them specifically if their fathers had friends and what they learned from their fathers about friendships. The men we interviewed were diverse in terms of age, face, and religion. Read More

December 4, 2008

Men and Women as Friends

I gave a book talk on Buddy System at Barnes and Noble at the Baltimore Inner Harbor over the weekend. The question again came up about opposite sex friendships. Read More

November 24, 2008

Friends Along the Campaign Trail

Much was made during the 2008 presidential campaign about the on-again, off-again, and now on-again friendship between John McCain and Joseph Biden Jr. McCain frequently sprinkled his remarks with "My friends" as a way to be inclusive. And now, Rahm Emanuel, Barack Obama's "friend" from Chicago has been picked to be White House chief of staff. Read More