Last week I provided five tips for guys making friends when going away to college for the first time. This week I offer five more tips, some taken from Buddy system: Understanding male friendships.
Last week’s tips first: 1. Strike a balance between maintaining your current friends and making new friends; 2. Try new activities; 3. Guys like shoulder-to shoulder friendships and gals like face-to-face friendships; 4. To maintain a new friendship, be a good friend; and 5.Friendships that are lasting may take time to grow.
This week’s tips:
1. Decide what kind of friendship you are looking for in another guy. Do you want a buddy to hang around with all the time, most of the time, or a little of the time? Are you a one-close-friend guy or do you want a posse? Some people have friends for specific activities, like shooting hoops or playing chess, but would not necessarily want to spend an evening in an unstructured activity with those guys. Other guys like to go out in a group. It is okay to have friends for different purposes.
2. Be aware that sharing too much too soon can be unsettling to people who do not know you well. You should always be true to yourself and if you are the kind of person that is open about everything, go with it. But for some men (and women), opening up too soon about a past event may make that event too central in a new relationship and may define you. Sometimes (not always) it is better to wait a little while until you and the other person know each other better to provide a full history.