Are men different with their friends when they get into couples? New research I am conducting with Kathy Deal that continues earlier work published in Buddy System, indicates that they might be. Think about how you make friends with your own buddies and then think about what happens to those friendships when you are with your partner (we are assuming heterosexuality here). Are you on guard around your girlfriend/wife? Do you and your male friend censor yourself when you are with your significant others? Do you have the sense that your partners are censoring themselves? This is a broad area of friendship to consider.
Moving to a specific topic about these relationships: If you are about to go out with another couple, do you agree in advance that there are certain topics that will not be discussed or are those topics just undertstood to be off-limits?
One scenario - you are worried about being fired because of cutbacks. You are very upset about this. You tell your wife but are emotional when sharing your fears with her. Would you ask her to not share this with another couple you are about to go out with? Or would she just know that this is your story and yours to share, not hers? But what if it affects her, too? Does that change anything.
