Buddy System

Understanding men and their friendships

Dr. Geoffrey Greif is a Professor at the University of Maryland School of Social Work and author of Buddy System: Understanding Male Friendships. See full bio

June 25, 2009, Relationships

Comments on "Big Boys Acting Badly"

Big Boys Acting Badly

By Geoffrey Greif on June 25, 2009 in Buddy System

Mark Sanford, John Ensign, John Edwards...the list goes on. And these are just the recent guys who screw up, act out, and then are forced to own up. Obviously, men (and women) have been unfaithful ever since commitment became a requirement in a relatonship. But this just goes on and on. Read More

No Man Is an Island

Submitted by welshtenor on June 25, 2009 - 7:29am.

Thanks again for your blog. Men need Male Friends.

Of course you need to pick friends that share and maintain the same ideas, morals, values that you hold and want to practice.

Definitely - pick the right friends

Submitted by Geoffrey Greif on June 25, 2009 - 7:35am.

Bad boys get distracted by other bad boys. Substance abusers surround themselves with same. We need to find friends who are going to help us "do better."

Many of these 'bad boys',

Submitted by Wife of Former BBAB on June 25, 2009 - 11:22am.

Many of these 'bad boys', while seemingly in a crowd, are internally isolated. There are many reasons for these 'screw-ups', some of which might be problems behind closed doors, which, while it doesn't excuse the behavior (there isn't an excuse), could be a contributing factor.

Biggest factors - emotional/mental isolation and trust. I'd be willing to bet that many of these men have few, if any, real confidants. They might have handlers, advisors, and dinner friends, but no one they truly trust, which is, in my opinion, the key.