Mark Sanford, John Ensign, John Edwards...the list goes on. And these are just the recent guys who screw up, act out, and then are forced to own up. Obviously, men (and women) have been unfaithful ever since commitment became a requirement in a relatonship. But this just goes on and on. Don't these guys have friends who can keep them on the straight and narrow, or at least keep them from a. lying about their whereabouts (Sanford); b. hitting on an advisor's wife (Ensign); c. cheating on a courageous and well-liked figure who is battling cancer (Edwards)?
How might this work? One scenario - Sanford admits to a guy friend he has fallen for someone else. The friend says, "Dude, sorry to hear about that. Stuff happens. I feel bad you and your wife couldn't make a better go of it. I am here for you. But whatever if you do, DON'T DO ANYTHING CRAZY."
Ensign tells a friend, "I have fallen for an aide and she happens to be married to a trusted advisor." The friend could say, "Wow, heavy. Let me catch my breath on this one. You cheated on your wife and you cheated on an advisor. Not cool. You gotta do the right thing here, man. Go back and work on the marriage, if you still can, and get into therapy. This is so complicated, you are going to need professional help in clarifying what you are doing to your life and those who trusted you."
Edwards tells a friend he is having an affair with a filmmaker covering his campaign after she came on to him in a hotel parking lot. The friend might say, "I understand. You were tired, lonely, and slipped up this time. But it has to end and you have to tell Elizabeth. You and this woman are using each other. You met under the wrong conditions. I can't see this working out for you long term. Get a grip and GROW UP!"
Men's friends are supposed to be there for them and support them but we are also supposed to straighten a friend out when he needs it. Don't let your friends make bad choices continuously. People mess up - but when they continue to mess up, they are not being helped by their friends.
