Buddy System

Understanding men and their friendships

Dr. Geoffrey Greif is a Professor at the University of Maryland School of Social Work and author of Buddy System: Understanding Male Friendships. See full bio

May 1, 2009, Gender

The Soloist - are they friends?

The Soloist - are these guys really friends?

In the movie The Soloist, Robert Downey, Jr., portrays a LA Times reporter Steve Lopez and Jamie Foxx portrays the once gifted musician Nathaniel Ayers. But Ayers suffers from schizophrenia, is homeless, out of touch with his family, and no longer able to play the cello. When Lopez runs into him on the street, Ayers is plucking a violin with two remaining strings. A relationship develops based on a reporter-subject set up. Through Lopez' newspaper columns, Ayers's plight is recognized and a reader sends Lopez a cello to give to Ayers. Lopez does whatever he can to locate Ayers, set him up in a shelter, get him health care, arrange cello lessons with a concert celloist, and, eventually get him a subsidized apartment. The cello instructor and he even arrange a performance for Ayers. By the end of the story, Lopez calls Ayers "friend."

Maybe this is a Hollywood version of a friendship but Aristotle would sniff at this. Aristotle believes that friends must be peers. One cannot have something to gain from another if they are to be friends. Lopez saw Ayers as an interesting subject and moved heaven and earth to help him. The latter actions are signs of true friendship - we would do anything to help a friend. But to call this a peer relationship is to stretch this a bit.

In my book, Buddy System: Understanding male friendships, 400 men were interviewed and asked to define friendship. Trust, loyalty, and dependability were the terms used. While Lopez may be all these things to Ayers, the reverse is not the case in the movie (though it may be in real life - who knows?) Can a reporter befriend a subject who will never be his peer? Sure - but is this the basis for a friendship? As long as Ayers continues to need assistance from Lopez and there continues to be a power imbalance, I would contend this is not a true friendship.