With Father's Day coming up in June, it is helpful to consider how men view their father's friendships. In Buddy System: Understanding Male Friendships, I report that 60% of the men felt their father had a lot of friends but that 40% believed he had either a few or no friends. Some times these friendships were constrained by fathers' dedication to work and family, leaving no time for friends. Other times, though, the men were awkward around men or felt that friends could not be trusted or were unnecessary.
A father's first obligation is to his family (work/time/attention to family members). His second obligation is to his friends. Fathers who do not have time for friends send an ambiguous message to their children. That message may be that family comes first - perhaps at the expense of other relationships and fun. Life is about striking a balance between conflicting and important demands. For Father's Day, take a look at what messages you were raised with about friendships and be clear about sending messages to the next generation that emphasize the imporance of friends. People with friends live longer, healthier lives. Why shorten your existence?
