I spoke today about Buddy System at the Baltimore Book fest. A number of questions were raised by the audience, three of which I will recount here:
1. I have just moved to Baltimore. How do I make friends?
From the answers of men in the book, the consensus is straightforward - get involved in activities that interest you and where you may meet other people -book clubs, sporting events, hobbies, etc. It is difficult to make friends without being involved in activities. Next, reach to others others. Without making that effort, it will be hard to connect. Further, the men in the book advise "be yourself." Don't try and take on a persona that you are not in order to make friends;
2. Can men be friends with women?
Absolutely. Cross-gender friendships are quite common. What I learned though is that they are more common for younger, single guys than for older, married men;
3. I am married and have trouble finding time for friends, along with my work and family obligations. What can I do?
The men in the book often set a lower priority for friends once they get married, get a job, and have a family. When they are single, friends are a high priority. It is not until their children are older and their work and family life are settled, often in later life, that they find time for friends again. Communicating with the spouse/significant other about the need for friendship is the key here but it is a difficult balance to strike, according to the men in the book.
