"Everyone Grieves In Their Own Way And At Their Own Pace."
That's great poetry—but what does it mean?
Google the phrase and get 319,000 hits. Read the entries until your eyes weary and you won't know a whole lot more about what it's supposed to mean than you did before you started.
More importantly, relative to grief-producing events, what, if anything does it have to do with recovery or completion of what is left emotionally unfinished in our relationships with people who have died or from whom we are divorced or estranged?
Simple answer - nothing!
Intellectually Accurate But Confusing And Meaningless
Yes, everyone grieves in their own unique way and at their own pace. But that statement, while logical, says nothing helpful for a grieving person. It acts to further confuse an area that is already fraught with misinformation and meaningless clichés.
The fact that people grieve in their own way is based on how we each have interpreted and incorporated the information and misinformation about grief we've been subjected to since we could first make sense of language. The issue of pace is based on a dangerous falsehood, that "time heals all wounds." In reality, time can't heal an emotional wound anymore than time can fix a flat tire. Both require actions.
