Broken Hearts

Exploring myths and truths about grief, loss, and recovery.

by Russell Friedman

Green Bay Grief—Broken Hearts Trump Professional Skills

Anyone who watched Sunday's Green Bay Packers-New York Giants football game witnessed one of the universal responses to grief—the inability to concentrate or focus. Michael Philbin, the 21 year-old son of the Packers' offensive coordinator, Joe Philbin, died in an apparent camping mishap, his body found in an icy river in Oshkosh, Wisconsin, six days before Sunday's game. Read More

America's Empty Graves

There are more than one million empty graves in the United States; graves with inscribed head stones or metal markers, but with neither a casket, a body, nor even an urn with ashes inside. Most people don't know anything about this strange phenomenon or how it came to be. Read More

Friday Morning at Eleven—Lest We Forget

In its day, World War One was called "The War to End All Wars." Read More

Elements of the Proposed DSM 5—From Travesty to Potential Tragedy

The intent of this blog post is to encourage you to read and sign a petition titled, Open Letter to the DSM-5. We are particularly focused on the proposed change in the bereavement exclusion which is one of the major protests in the petition. You can skip the blog and go directly to the petition: http://www.ipetitions.com/petition/dsm5/

Once upon a time I was an in-studio guest on a live radio show hosted by a psychologist. She had a thriving practice in the San Fernando Valley area of Greater Los Angeles. She booked her radio guests based on some of the presenting issues she came across in her practice. Read More

9/11 The Aftermath: Loss of Life, Loss of Safety, Loss of Trust, and Loss of Innocence

September 11, 2001 now lives in our language in the same emotional way as December 7, 1941 and November 22, 1963. Nearly everyone who was above the age of 5 at the time, remembers where they were when they found out about Pearl Harbor and about the shooting of John F. Kennedy. For most people, their first awareness of those events came on the radio. Read More

Is it ever too soon to recover from grief?

The question of when to begin a process of completing relationships that have ended or changed due to death or divorce is confused by conflicting opinions from a wide variety of sources. Medical, psychological, societal and family experts all approach the issue from differing perspectives. Read More

Am I Going Crazy?: An All-Too Frequent Question from Grievers

"Since my mother's death, I've had the experience of being in one room, deciding to go to another room to do something, and when I get there, I don't have a clue what I'm there for. Am I going crazy?" Read More

Father's Day 2011: My Dad, Babe Ruth, and the Ball That's Still in Orbit

In the kind of emotional reviews our minds and hearts make on chronicling days like Father's Day, we often discover a level of appreciation that we'd never realized or expressed directly to our dads in exactly the way we now feel it. Read More

Mother’s Day! Remind Me—Remind Me Not—Remind Me

In mid-April there are two things you can count on in the United States. One is the due date for filing your tax return. The other is the arrival of the annual brochures or emails reminding you to order those special flowers so they will be shipped on time for Mother's Day. However, the company that sends the notices doesn't know that my mother died nearly 17 years ago. Read More

Emotional Jet Lag

Working with grieving people for more than thirty years has given us a wealth of practical experience. Amongst the many observations we have made is the fact that grieving people often seem to be slower to respond to even the simplest of questions, and to be baffled by tasks that are normally routine.

To understand, imagine that your brain has been filled up with three quarts of molasses. Read More

Because We Are The Family of Humankind

Last night at 11:15 PM [PT] my heart was burning and my stomach was churning.

I was watching the gruesome images from Japan, in real time, as the earthquake-tsunami rumbled through that country and began its course around the globe. Read More

Valentine's Day—the Slings and Arrows of Grief

The traditional Holiday Season begins around Halloween, continues through Thanksgiving, crests with Christmas and Hanukkah, and ends with New Year's Day. While the Season can be wonderful for many, it can be a very difficult time for those who are grieving the recent death of someone important to them. Read More

The FLAW in T.H.A.W.

T.H.A.W. are the letters I doodled last week while talking on the phone with a well-intentioned, but misguided mental health professional. She was intoning the old, but always false idea that Time Heals All Wounds. Read More

Uh-0h, It's That Time Again!

Many Grievers Wish They Could Skip The Holidays And Jump From Late October To Mid-January

The holidays are approaching. A joyous time. A festive time. A time when families and friends celebrate the passage of another year and the coming of a new year.

But not everyone will feel like celebrating. Read More

Thursday Morning at Eleven—Lest We Forget

In its day, World War One was called "The War to End All Wars."

Sadly, it wasn't.

WW I officially ended on the eleventh hour of the eleventh day of the eleventh month of the year, in 1918. Each year we commemorate that ending on Veterans Day, which was originally called Armistice Day. There aren't too many folks left who were around when that came to pass. Read More

The Grief Recovery Guidance Center Accessible to Millions on Tributes.com

We have exciting news. Read More

Survivor Guilt - What is it and does it really exist?

On Friday morning, September 10, 2010, the day before the nine year marker of 9/11, I was listening to the local ABC radio affiliate in our town. The host of the show was interviewing, Tim Brown, a NYC firefighter who had been on-scene that fateful day, and had survived—barely. Read More

Marauding Do-Gooders Attack Middle America

Breaking News - Hometown, USA: The Jones family of Main Street, in our little city, want the rest of the community to know that they had a delightful day today and they wish a fond goodnight to all their friends and acquaintances.

Of course, your local news never begins with that story, and most probably never will - even on a slow news day. Read More

How to Help a Grieving Friend

Interview with Russell Friedman published on Aol.Health July 26, 2010

How to Help a Grieving Friend

By Stephanie Booth Read More

Emotional Freedom, a Bonus from the Founding Fathers

Political and Emotional Independence

Independence Day, the 4th of July, technically celebrates our independence from Great Britain.

One of the major freedoms built into our independence is the right to talk openly about our government, without the fear of retribution if we say something that disagrees with the party in power. Read More

Memorial Day—Lest We Forget

Memorial Day as we know it today began as Decoration Day in 1866, in upstate New York, after the cessation of the Civil War. First conceived as homage to those who had given their lives, it soon evolved to also honor those who had survived. Read More

Hammer, Saw, or Tissues?

Most trades-people have tool kits to accomplish their tasks. Hammers, saws, screwdrivers and the like for construction; wrenches, pliers, vise grips for plumbing; duct tape for everything else. Read More

Emotional Help For The People Of Haiti

"Grief is about a broken heart, not a broken intellect." Read More

"Everyone Grieves In Their Own Way And Pace." Great poetry—but what does it mean?

"Everyone Grieves In Their Own Way And At Their Own Pace."

That's great poetry—but what does it mean?

Google the phrase and get 319,000 hits. Read the entries until your eyes weary and you won't know a whole lot more about what it's supposed to mean than you did before you started. Read More

Am I Paranoid or Are People Really Avoiding me?

Grieving people often seem to be walking though quicksand and appear oblivious to the world around them. At the same time, they usually have a heightened awareness as it relates to whether or not they are being judged, evaluated, or criticized. Read More

Because We Are The Family Of Humankind

Certain events have the power to propel us into an emotional numbness, as if a hidden thermostat inside our hearts shuts us off. The pain is too much to bear. Some of the events that leap to mind over the past decade are: Read More

Why do good things happen to bad people? And How Not To Be a Bicycle.

Why do good things happen to bad people?

Look carefully. Is that the question you thought it was or have the words been turned around? Read More

Studies Prove Need for Immediate Attention to Grief—And to Label it Correctly

Identify A Problem Then Solve It—Right?

• If we identified the cause of a doubling of heart attack rates for males and trebling for females, as a society, we'd mobilize all our resources to deal with that, wouldn't we?

• If we became aware of a direct link to a suicide rate 242% higher than the norm, we'd rev up our collective engines to find a solution, wouldn't we? Read More

Tiger Uses STERBs—Do You? aka What Tiger Woods and an 85 year-old widow have in common.

Tiger Uses STERBs—Do You?

What, you don't know what a STERB is?

Shame on you! That means you haven't read The Grief Recovery Handbook or When Children Grieve.

I suppose you're asking, "What the heck is a STERB?"

Glad you asked.

A STERB is a Short Term Energy Relieving Behavior. Read More

Russell Friedman is Executive Director of The Grief Recovery Institute, and co-author of The Grief Recovery Handbook, When Children Grieve, and Moving On.

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