Breaking the Ice

As a clinical psychologist and somewhat introverted person, I have interpreted Kagan's research to mean that gregariousness, as represented by comfort in social situations and the level of desire to seek out the company of others, has a kind of "set point" similar to what Seligman talks about with happiness and to set point theory in weight loss. Maybe my operational definition of gregariousness is incorrect, but I over the years I have found gregariousness to vary innately among my children and grandchildren. My personal experience is that social situations get easier if I desensitize myself by participating in a lot of them, and most people don't know I am uncomfortable because I can fake it when necessary. However, I have almost always preferred reading a book to attending a party, even when I know the people well. After such events I am always glad I went, but I always have anticipatory anxiety. So...I tend to believe that shyness, or lack thereof, is more innate than you have suggested.

Great post. See also these articles on shyness and self-confidence from Psychology Today:
http://www.psychologytoday.com/articles/pto-20070227-000002.html
http://www.psychologytoday.com/articles/pto-20070309-000003.html

I agree with Steve. I think there is an inherent propensity to be more or less comfortable in social situations. I was raised in a famliy where my mother was extremely socially reserved and my father very outgoing. I had exposure to both and although I emulated my father, I couldn't fight the fact that I was more like my mother. I also force myself into social situations and actually prefer them to alone time once I am over the initial discomfort. Getting over this discomfort, however, is always a task and a choice I make to get the reward I'm seeking. It never has and never will be easy. I have come far and actually encourage my mother to take more chances. I see her in the supermarket, highly uncomfortable just being in line, and I know that feeling. I don't think my father knows that feeling or can look at her subtle cues and surmise her level of discomfort. He is simply biologically different.

I have a PhD in philosophy, and I have to say that this article makes no sense whatsoever. You say that people are not born shy but that they *are* born with an "inhibited temperament" that lends to behavior, such as hiding behind parents' legs, which can be labelled as "shyness." Let's see, then, people are born with a temperament that directly causes behaviors that can be labelled as "shyness." That's *identical* to saying that people are born shy. When I was a toddler, I hid behind the curtains, and as I grew older this trait never changed...I still have a hard time talking to strangers. In any case, you psychologists must do a better job interpreting your data...

"Since individuals are not born with a sense of self, they cannot be born shy."

I'm sorry, but isn't that a lot like saying no one is born gay because babies don't have sex?

The rest of the post seems to support the view that actually, yes, shy people were born with an inclination to turn out shy. Biology isn't destiny, and that's fine, but it's not like a child's inhibited temperament was caused by the flu or the fact that they were bitten by a dog when they were three, is it?

Could Kagan's observation of "inhibited temperament" in infants be related to innate introversion? See my recent post on Jung's typology and the connection between shyness and introversion: Secrets of Psychotherapy: What's Your Psychological Type? http://blogs.psychologytoday.com/blog/evil-deeds/200806/secrets-psychoth...

Something that no one seems to care is the mental health of the parents before and after birth. The human being has evolved as a social being. We humans have ALWAYS been living in groups, it doesnt make any sense at all that people are born with social anxiety or some kind of shyness. It's ridiculous. Some people may be less energetic than others, but to say that some people are naturally predisposed to feel better alone is simply ridiculous.

There exists research that suggests there are physiological correlates of behavioural inhibition (see Kagan Reznick & Snidman 1987). The research found physiological differences that are consistent with a more active sympathetic nervous system in inhibited children than in their uninhibited counterparts.

Could it not be argued that the three traits excessive self-consciousness, excessive negative self-evaluation, and excessive negative self-preoccupation in fact stem from an underlying physiological basis which is conferred upon an individual at birth?

i admit i did not read the whole article because it's very late and i'm about to go to sleep (in fact i really shouldn't be on the comp right now. i should be in bed lol)

but anyway i read the first part that said "The answer to that question is absolutely not! There is no way that we can be born shy."

i disagree with this because it doesn't make sense when you think of other matters about human psychology or issues. for instance:

some people are born with anger problems due to their hormones and things of the sort. it's something that starts showing as u develop a sense of self but it was in you

same thing with homosexuality. it is a person's genetics that determine their sexuality so just because a baby doesn't have a sense of self yet does not mean it's not in them to develop a sexuality that their genetics have decided for them.

many refer to shyness as an emotion, like anger, happiness, embarrassment, ect... our genetic makeup often deciphers what we will be most prone to feeling. for instance: some people are born with depression problems, ya know hormonal imbalances and such.

but it is definately true that often times these kinds of things are developed solely through experiences that cause a person to be a certain way. but sometimes it really is genetics

my mom was is extremely shy. my dad is not shy at all. very sociable and loud and a jokester. i seem to have gotten m mom's shyness while my two sisters take after my dad in the non-shyness. the reason i dont believe that the way u were raised has much to do with how shy you'll be is because of the fact that my parents divorced when i was 9 and my lil sis was 3. she was not raised very much at all by our dad. she was around our mom way more. but yet she still took after our dad in being open, sociable, and loud. i was always around my dad, big sis who is loud and sociable and my lil sis and never had their manners rub off on me. i'm just shy.

i know i can develope more social bravery through trying and different tactics is ut the fact of the matter is: it really seems like my shyness is genetic. when i was little i always hid behind my parents when i met new people while my other two sisters never did anything of the sort.

i could be completely wrong and i am open to being wrong, especially since i admit i did not read the entire article. but this is how i feel. i respect your belief and reasons for your belief and such. i welcome you to reply any way you feel fit

The potential inherent in a new-born baby includes the capacity for shyness. So to claim that we are not born shy is true but that we can become shy due to our nature from birth is also true.

I am shy and it is a real problem for me to break the ice, but as you can probably appreciate, this problem does not exist when communicating by e-mail, so it is easy to write about it but a lot less simple to discuss it face to face.

I think my parents made a number of mistakes which encouraged my shyness, not that they knew any better and I can't really accuse them although I do put the blame on them. Perhaps you can help your child to overcome these symptoms by one or more of the 17 suggested ways given on another doctor's website. It is important, I feel as if I am a social cripple and when I see how disabled people manage without being shy about their serious personal problems, some of them embarrisingly so to my way of thinking, then I envy them!

The sense of self is not there upon being born. It comes later. That sounds right.

But lots of things are like that (e.g. your teeth coming in later) that are inherited traits.