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Posts by Psychology Today Editors

Top Strategies for Handling a Bully

No, it's not just boys being boys, or kids being kids. It takes a special breed of person to cause pain to others. Kids, parents, and school authorities take notice: Here are the top research-based strategies for dealing with bullies. Read More

Confront with help

A bully will initiate aggression to hide their own insecurities from being exposed by others. People who habitually judge others harshly have the same insecure feelings they are trying to protect/hide.

A simple confrontation to identify the bully, as a bully, could diffuse the situation. Q: “Why are you such a bully?” It will be more effective to confront the aggressor in front of others, but only as a method to expose the bad behavior, not to bully the bully. I understand there is an element of shame being used, but it is only to help the bully see the behavior from the confronter’s point of view.

It could also be done to alert officials to a problem on the playground or in the hallways.

????

Ken:

Most studies that I am aware of do not find bullies full of insecurities. In fact, bullies tend to have (unreasonably) high self-esteem.

And shaming bullies...shaming anyone...is a less than ideal strategy. Public humiliation only breeds revenge.

Bullies should be called on their behavior.

If bullies could see their behavior from others' point of view, that would go a long way to solving the problem But bullies have blind spots. For example, they have a cognitive style that allows them to see others as having hostile intent, which allows them to justify their own aggressive behavior.

Counter point

Points taken Hara.

I think the studies you’re referring to have overlooked a simple premise, having high self-esteem does not mean you don’t have insecurities. Applying Occam’s razor to human nature dictates everyone short of a sociopath has insecurities. People with high self-esteem think they are smarter than everyone else, so they use their bravado to insulate their insecurities.

I believe you backed my argument in the last paragraph of your reply by stating “…they have a cognitive style that allows them to see others as having hostile intent…”. My argument exactly. A human insecurity of being put in a weakened position, being exposed, prompts bullies to initiate aggression to protect their weaknesses/insecurities. A good offence is the best defense for a bully.

Bullies are humans, with human feelings and I would argue against a blind spot as well. On the contrary, I think bullies pick their targets because they see their own insecurities being exhibited by the targets (being alone, helpless). They rationalize their actions in a belief that if the bully can see the insecurity in the target, then the target can see it in the bully. “…allows them to justify their own aggressive behavior.” Bullies want to weaken the target by exposing the insecurity in a preemptive strike. I would argue those kids in MA that bullied the lonely girl into suicide have insecurities of being alone, just like all humans. Unless they are sociopaths, I bet they will feel remorse, shame and empathy someday.

How do you stop someone with “(unreasonably) high self-esteem” who will not stop unless someone makes them? I would argue that anything confrontational will be seen as being “dissed” and require revenge. Exposing the bully, as a bully, to everyone within shouting distance is a perfectly legitimate tactic, especially if you about to get punched. Someone with such “(unreasonably) high self-esteem” should be very hard to shame, but agree, a perceived injustice could inspire revenge. Again, I don’t see how you can confront a person of this cognitive nature without it being perceived as an act of disrespect. If confronting escalates the situation, only the bully is to blame and more help can be brought in to confront the bully. Shame is used every day by the media, law enforcement, bosses, parents, etc. as a form of confrontation and control. Every situation is different, so you must creatively confront the bulling behavior.

Bottom line: The bully needs to be brought into the spot light. Confrontation is the only thing that will bring bullies to bare and would have saved that girl in MA. Some kids/people will react badly, we have all seen it happen, but its part of dealing with a bully and should be directed to others with more authority who will confront the bully legally. Doing nothing is not an option.

Yes, but how about when the

Yes, but how about when the bully is your work superviser/boss?

when the boss is a bully

You bring up a relatively common problem.

You might find some useful information in another PT article I wrote, specifically on that topic:
http://www.psychologytoday.com/articles/199509/when-the-boss-is-bully

Bullying

Well, I am having first hand experience with my daughter and bullying. This has gone on Nov 09 until now Apr 10 it seems to have stopped. I am a parent nothing more but I have never let anyone run over me.

This bullying started over a boy (sound familiar?). This is what I did.... at first I told her to ignore the bully.... this didn't help it just kept esclating... then I told her to tell the people that were talking to her about what the girl and her friends were saying about her to respond "Jane is a trouble maker and I am not getting into that" nothing more. This helped a bit.

Then when the crying and not sleeping started I called the mother of the girl. The mother's response was "I will talk to her. She has done with before with Mary". A week later things were not better so I called the mother again.... her response was "I tried to talk to her but she wouldn't talk. I can't control her. If she is doing these things to your daughter tell her to tell the teachers or principal or whoever and get her in trouble." This told me that she wasn't taking any responsibility and had no parenting skills.... so the next morning I called the school. I did talk to the boys parents as well and they backed me up but didn't make him stop seeing the girl. They are keeping an eye on the situation.

I talked to the vice pricipal and she said that it was definiately bullying and that she would talk to the girls.... which she did together. She also had them talk to a guidence councelor which I know in my daughter's case didn't give good advice. The bully started telling everyone that my daughter had "told on her" and that "she wouldn't have told on anyone". I instructed my daughter not to be telling anyone what had gone on at that point..... I let the bully spread the information initially. Then I told my daughter after a few days left in the week and the weekend to start answering questions from her friends the next Monday. I did let her share with her best friends. It seems that everyone saw through what the bulling was saying (many lies included)and doing and is now backing up my daughter. Even students who hardly knew my daughter are now part of her circle of friends.

Oh, and the bullying was also happening on facebook with the girl and her mother. The people at the school said that they couldn't do anything about it and that we should talk to the juvenile court clerk which my husband did any they also confirmed it was bulling. They instructed up to have our daughter to send a text message to the girl (yes this was happening thru texting as well) and say "Jane, do not text me or contact me in any way ever again." She did and we did get a response from the girl. This is when things started getting better even though Jane was still talking about my daughter and calling her names.

So YES parents do need to get involved and back up their child. These children do not have the emotional maturity or social skills yet in life to know how to handle every situation. You can't just let them try to handle situations by themselves. I believe that it is our responsibility as parents to teach these skills and help our children hopefully develop emotionally so they can lead happy, productive lives.

FYI

A different kind of advice.

First, I am so happy that the article starts from the advice for children how to stop a bully. Hurray!

Yet let me tell a story how my dad dealt or, more accurately, helped me to deal with a neighborhood bully. His name was “Volchok” (Little Wolf) and he was about 3 years older than I was, and I was about 10 year old at that time. We were classmates, because he was failing in school and repeating the year several times. Everybody knew about his links to criminal circles.

I came home crying, because Volchok made me pull him in my sled all the way from school to his home, and made me run as fast as I could. I knew, if I didn’t he would do something really nasty to me. My father asked me about what happened. After I finished my story, he told me that the only way to prevent this from happening again was for me to attack Volchok, when he starts bullying me.

In a couple of days a similar story happened, and I was home crying again. My father repeated his suggestions but also told me that if I don’t stand up to Volchok and come home crying again, he will beat me himself. By the way, my father never beat me in my life.

So, when Volchok was after me next time, I pretty much closed my eyes and started throwing punches. It took him no time to immobilize me, but then he just pushed me away, swore, and left.

When I told my father about this, he said that Volchok would never bully me again. I couldn’t believe that and asked why. “Because there are about 20 others in your class, whom Volchok can bully without risking to get even a feeble blow,” my father said. And he was right that Volchok never bullied me again.

AGREED!

Leon,

You had a great Father, that seems a fact not lost on you. He was even willing to beat you (obviously something he did not relish) rather than see you start down a road of victimization.

The article's suggestion that kids 'not fight back' is terrible advice.
Real concerns of kids 'getting older younger,' carrying weapons and engaging in real violence notwithstanding, MOST bullying situations do not fall into that zone, and are probably not much different than what we experienced as children.

From the 5th grade through junior high I was bullied mercilessly. Crowds of boys followed me around the schoolyard taunting me, calling me names. Threw my books on the floor, tossed erasers at my head, upended my lunch tray, ruined my science and theater projects, put itching powder in my underwear in gym class, kicked, punched, shoved and tripped me—and made me a laughing stock and an outcast.

The normal, healthy group of friends I had before this began quickly distanced themselves from me and I had a horrific puberty and virtually no friends until age 16 or 17, after I moved to a private school for a fresh start.

Still, the after effects were felt for many years—low self-esteem, social anxiety, poor social skills, self-defeating behavior, loneliness and lovelessness, depression and strong suicidal ideation. 3 decades, Countless hours of therapy, a number of unhealthy adult relationships and a divorce later, I've accomplished much in life, but still struggle daily with often crippling feelings of inadequacy and still have far underperformed my true capabilities and intelligence.

My Father is a good man and was a great provider, but he was useless teaching me how to be a man. Telling teachers, using humor and some of the other terrible suggestions from this list just amplified my status as 'an easy mark' and a 'sissy.' The bullies got their revenge when I told teachers, and just amplified their torment when I tried to blow them off with humor or ignoring them.

I am certain beyond certainty that had I done as you did, Leon, that life would have been very different and—I have to believe—much better. Fighting back wins the respect (and just the right amount of fear) from bullies. And even if the victim is roughed up badly in the scrap, the bully won't bother him any more. The one kid I DID fight (NOT the main bullies, unfortunately) turned out to be one of the only friends I had going forward, and continues to be a friend today.

By the way, in my 30's I took up a number of forms of martial arts, have won amateur boxing competitions and regularly train and spar Boxing, Muay Thai and Jiu Jitsu. (I pray for one of those bullies to cross my path today!). My ineptitude with women in my teens, 20's and early 30's has been well rectified and—again single in my 40's, I'm making up for lost time.

One punch could have changed it all.

Parents—if your sons are being bullied at school, eschew modern psycho-babble and teach your sons basic self defense. Insist that they defend themselves, physically if necessary. The lesson they will learn about standing up for themselves and their worth as human beings will go far.

Treat the Bully

Thank you for saying to "put the bully in the spotlight". I am a teacher, mother, and a victim of Bullying in the workplace as a parttime sales person. All my research I read has been on the victims----I now have techniques to deal with the results of bullying. This empowers me to not feel as victims feel because i know the sociopath is not focussed on me... the sociopath is a bully to EVERYONE. This lead me to focus as a mother and teacher on how to recognize bully behaviors BEFORE it develops into middle school and being destructive. Someone needs to investigate how to learn about empathy--how to teach it, how the bully is made in order to stop it from developing. Empathy is a powerful trait, and if a person lacks that--if they don't absorb it into their being---bullying is a result. PUT THE BULLY in the SPOTLIGHT and have THEM be the "victim"... it is what the definition of Bullying is--their personality calls for attention and a feeling of self importance. The "victims" have the ability to withstand the awfulness of it with help and defining the problem--they have empathy for the bully...now the bully needs that trait to feel what they do is WRONG. SOMEONE please help. contact the company here to contact me... i am willing to help!!! ~m

How to stop bullying

Guiness, I agree with you. Its extremely important that the bully feels and understands that he/she shouldn't do what he/she is doing. Teachers have to be straight and intervene as soon as possible. However this isn't always possible. The main question is: what are the best measures to stop bullying if it's already happening? Of course there is no single solution that will do it. But some measures show positive effects, there is a great list in the book called "Handling Bullying":

http://www.handlingbullying.com

Help me Please! For God sake! Please Help me!!

Please help me, please I am in a great trouble. My father bully me. I am not akid I am 30 years old guy. and I am sick of it. My father is 63 years old man. I am qualified engineer. I joind my father's business after coming back from UK 4 years before. I was working in a company as a Project Manager when I left my job for my father as he was sick and hospitalized. later on last year he agaian admittied into hospital and lost his memory and then his memory recovered with in 3 months. He used to bulley me since when i was young. But after that now he abused me in front of others infact in front of everyone. finally I got tired and i decided to leave my dad's company and decided to do some job. then he started bullying my mother and alomost everyone around him. When he bullyed me then after that I have seen plenty of times a smile over his face. He enjoyed to bully me. since i am not availaible anymore so he started bullying my mother. I love my mother more than anyone in this world. the fact is I don't like my father but I love him too. I believe that no child can hate his parents even if he wants to. I took care of him many times. Now my father totally and completely destroyed the home peaace and enviornment and i am thinking that I should go back so that he staisfied his bullying over me and save others my mother. baby brother and other family members. what do you think? I am not married and don't have girlfriend because I am living in the prison of un-seen bars. and I don't want anyone else to be that part of it. I tried many times to tell him but he said I am now 63 years old so I am who I am I don't want to change myself. and I can't change. I even tried to get him through his closest people and it didn't work. because now his friends, his brother everyone tried to avoid him because he left no body. what should I do? I don't know what to do? I just don't want others to be in pain. it's better that he bullyed me and leave others. but in this way I am sure that I will die someday. I am living in deep depression, tension and psychological pressure. He is like... like you are watching TV in common room and there is nothing to do and then suddenly he said to you that the worst charecter in this movie is you all the time. you came home and he started shouting over you literally without any reason. help me ! Please!

How Bullies learn the pattern

Learning to preempt another's aggression using aggression is the signal that the pattern of preemptive aggression has begun. Rather than meet problems head on, the bully attempts to resolve any problems that might arise by asserting his own aggression first.

Such patterns are highly contagious, and once begun, becomes a part of the social culture (mostly, though not always, of boys) that exhibit a weakness and vulnerability inconsistent with the strength that so many males hope to project.

That men have not sought to correct, but have amplified this peculiar habit to raise it to an art form is indicia of the reliance upon aggression males rely to negotiate daily life, and may form the basis of most domestic violence in the home with women and children, but over time, is not limited to the home, infecting the workplace and the highest levels of industry and government. Praising aggressive capacity as strength leads to more conflict not less conflict.

Words as injuring as a gun

I have read a lettter that is showing up everywhere. The letter writen by Amanda Taaiid is very distrubing. She uses the name cunt face repeatedly and acusses the daughter of lying about a miscarrage, and court issuses. Along with her long letter are medical records and court records showing Amanda's rants as untrue. This letter is a very direct attack. I do not know why Amanda needed to address another woman this way but do believe Ms Taaid needs serious help. Any info that can be sent her? She's on facebook.

Lies spread by bullies often target the wrong individual

I guess you must not have read the same letter everyone else did.

I see this "Open Letter to Semine Nash" that was written by This Amanda person was done back in March 2011. More than a year before your comment here. I also see that not once in that letter did she call anyone the names you claim she has. Nor does this open letter "show up everywhere" it's only posted on Facebook, no where else.

https://www.facebook.com/notes/amanda-taaid/open-letter-to-semine-nash/1...

In all this time, this open letter was and is the only thing she has ever said/done/posted. Why? Because this was her defense against the harassment that Semine was doing to her. Phone records and text records can prove that, I've seen them, she has them still.

Kimberly McLaughlin is now bullying and harassing Amanda, because she can't handle the truth about her daughter that Amanda tells in her Open Letter. Semine has finally left Amanda alone, and it is rather sad that her Mother won't stop harassing Amanda.

Sadly when you don't know all the facts you end up with egg on your face...

Amanda has shared her story with me, and sent me the following messages as well that both you and Kimberly McLaughlin had sent her. Did she call Ms. McLaughlin a Cu**Face, yes, in a private message, after she once again contacted Amanda to try and gloat about having gotten her ex-son in law fired from his job at Trident, claiming it was karma..... Again these unwanted contacts to Amanda IS harassment by Kimberly and will hold up in court. Regardless of calling Kimberly a bad name, Amanda is the victim here, and she finally stood up for herself after bottling it in for so long.

Amanda has ignored all of the Harassment over the last 3 years, but Kimberly won't stop, she really is walking herself right into anti harassment orders and such if she does not stop harassing this girl. I've advised Amanda she needs to take legal action, what she does with my advice is up to her, but the only bully here is Kimberly McLaughlin. Even her daughter has been more adult than she and left Amanda alone, here are the messages between Kimberly, Amanda, and the message you sent Amanda but she refused to respond to.

You people should leave her alone, claiming to be anti bully activists and yet BEING bullies and harassing this girl is very hypocritical of you.

Conversation started May 10, 2012

5:37am
Kim McLaughlin
Karma is so worth seeing. Trident is Karma for you
May 10, 2012

8:10pm
Amanda Taaid
Dear CuntFace,
You're right, Karma is worth seeing... Karma has ALWAYS been worth seeing.
Like when your dirty slut bag daughter miscarried every 'suposed' pregnancy she's ever had. THANK YOU KARMA!!
Or how she thought she would delay the divorce by NOT signing the papers HAHAHA YES, Karma at work!
Or how the Judge made her look like a damn fool in court and dismissed the entire case against my brother. Oh that's just priceless.
You know what else Karma does, Karma rewards the good people.... Karma gave my brother an amazing woman, one who isn't mentaly unstable, and can actually carry a child. Karma gave my brother an amazing son, and a beautiful baby.
Karma gave my brother happiness, a reason to wake up in the morning. Karma gave my brother a career, and Karma used you and your slut bag daughter to get him out of a job he actually hated, one he only used as an escape from the hell he had to live with when he was home.
So yeah, Karma is worth watching, every glorious minute of Karma is worth watching. God I love Karma.
Oh, and CuntFace.... FUCK OFF, you and your dirty Cunt spawn.

Conversation started May 25, 2012

12:29am
Kyra Larsen
My friends and I read your letter and the proof that what you said is not true. I showed it to my Professer. Mental health help is everywhere. Please get some. Your letter is evereywhere and being shared. If you do not mind let me know who you attacked so I can let them know we do not beleave what you said. I admit I had to look up cunt face. Really get help, this letter is not healthy. I am studying to be a Mental Health Provider. Good luck and good health.

The most recent harass,net is in blog form. http://kim1957blog.wordpress.com/2013/04/14/amanda-taaid/

Amanda has already blocked and deleted Kimberly's contact on her YouTube Channel, which is where I discovered these unwanted contacts and reached out to Amanda.. Kimberly McLaughlin needs serious help, before she finds herself in deep troubles with the law.

Does anyone else notice

Does anyone else notice slander here? If it is not true and shown publicly isn't it slander? That is what I have always been told. The letter seems to be address to the mother, is the mother Semine? Then where does Kimberly fit in? The attack and info from Stephanie show one sidedness. I would never have shown that letter.

It is only slander if it ISN'T true

Kimberly is Semine's mother, the letter is addressed to Semine, and CC'd to both her mother, and ex-mother in-law because Semine liked to twist words, and Amanda wasn't going to allow that to happen this time. In speaking to Amanda, the letter was never intended to be to be an open letter on Facebook, unfortunately the harassment Amanda was receiving and the Facebook stalking led her to post it publicly.

As stated "An open letter is a letter that is intended to be read by a wide audience, or a letter intended for an individual, but that is nonetheless widely distributed intentionally."

You are correct, IF its not true, then and only then is it slander. The letter contains only factual information, which is why Semine has not argued it, Amanda can prove every bit of it, and has also provided the definition of slander within the comments of the open letter. Here are those laws;

Slander is the oral communication of false statements that are harmful to a person's reputation. If the statements are proven to be true, it is a complete defense to a charge of slander. Oral opinions that don't contain statements of fact don't constitute slander. Slander is an act of communication that causes someone to be shamed, ridiculed, held in contempt, lowered in the estimation of the community, or to lose employment status or earnings or otherwise suffer a damaged reputation. Slander is a subcategory of defamation.

The basic elements of a claim of slander include;

1. a defamatory statement;
2. published to third parties; and
3. which the speaker or publisher knew or should have known was false.

Slander is primarily covered under state law, but is subject to First Amendment guarantees of free speech. The scope of constitutional protection extends to statements of opinion on matters of public concern that do not contain or imply a provable factual assertion. If the slander unjustly accused you of a crime or reflected on your profession, the court or jury can assess the damages. For other types of slander you generally must prove some actual damage to be able to recover.

At this point Semine has left Amanda alone, the open letter stopped that harassment as it was intended. Unfortunately Kimberly, Semine's mother, has begun harassing Amanda, and as you can see in the previous post she can't even keep her lies straight. The original commenter claims Amanda called Kimbery this name in the open letter, when in fact it was in a private message from Kimbery that Amanda responded to prior to blocking her on Facebook.

Maybe she is embarrassed by her daughters actions, maybe she can't handle the truth and wants to make Amanda look like a liar, but since Amanda posted only truthful statements, Kimberly is the one doing the slandering and harassment. She isn't just harassing Amanda with these slanderous claims, but she's hurting her own daughter, Semine, because every time she posts about it, more people read the letter about what her daughter has done.

As long as Kimberly McLaughlin continues to post false claims about Amanda, the open letter will remain open. It is Amanda's only defense against these false claims and she has been advised to leave it public until this woman stops, and removes all false claims she's posted.

A case of slander

If there are medical records and court records as Ms Larson states then how is Amanda Taaid's statements factual? I really think some effort to twist the intent of said OPEN letter is going on. If Taaid said things that the receiver can proof false then slander it is. I am really believing that this defense is an effort to avoid being seen as a bully. Sorry your letter is telling me the receivers of this letter are victums and Taaid is more exposed then in the beginning. Ken's letter is very good.

False statements

Birth certificate states Kim. Medical records state several miscarrages. Court records state NO laughing out of court, show Mr Nash being warned by Judge. Letter was sent To KM's facebook May 10,2012. Reported to Facebook May 10, 2012. Sent to STOP ADULT BULLYING group with proof of false statements by AT on May 17,2012. The Letter from KM's facebook is worded a little differant than the one here. The one reported to Facebook is exactly as the one STOP ADULT BULLYING received. If AT is truthful then I am sure she can prove medical and court records are false. I have verified the records. These are the facts.

False statements

Birth certificate states Kim, not Kimberly. Medical records show several miscarages over a few years. Court reports state Mr Nash was warned, no one was laughed out of court. .K.M. received a letter worded differantly than what is here on her facebook May 10, 2012, reported to facebook May 10, 2012. May 20, 2012 Stop Adult Bullying received the facebook letter sent to K.M. ,medical records, court reports and a note showing it reported to facebook from her facebook account from A.T. The records have been verified. Keep your open letter posted. It helps.

Shillings commits

What false statement do you claim Ms Mclaughlin has made. Your commit does not make sence. What proof that Ms Taaid did not do what Ms Mclaughlin or Ms Larsen have said.? You state that what Ms Taaid said is factual. How?

Shillings commits

What false statement do you claim Ms Mclaughlin has made. Your commit does not make sence. What proof that Ms Taaid did not do what Ms Mclaughlin or Ms Larsen have said.? You state that what Ms Taaid said is factual. How? What false claims is Ms Mclaughlin posting? What you said Ms Taaid has done is what Ms Mclaughlin said Ms Taaid did. How is this false?

Two Bullys are seen

Ms. Shilling I have read your posts and the responses. Without the responses your story is a rage rant and does not make sense. You say it is a Open Letter to Semine. You say she did call Kim a c.n.face. you say a cpoy was sent to mother and mother-in-law, you say it was sent Mar 10 2011 a year before Ms. Larsen wrote. The letter you post as your defense is dated May 10, 2012. Ms. Larsen said you called Ms. McLaughlin c..tface. By looking at the dates I see an understandable pattern. May 10, 2012 your post, May 10, 2012 matches the response dates. Ms. Larsen contacted 2 times May 25, 2012 and May 27, 2012. These dates (as your post shows) are 15 and 17 days after your letter. Not over a year. You say Amanda Taaid is factual. So far not true. It is stated by Ms. Larsen and others that there are medical records and court records. Based on your post I see no proof that you are factual. This is as far as I see an atempt to expose a bully by Ms. Larsen and others.. We bring up exposure as a way to stop bullys. We also invite victums to communicate with others, blogs are great for this. This site is a blog. Not only did Amanda Taaid bully and slander but you assisted in this. You say Semine stopped when Amanda Taaid sent letter and it did what it was suppose to. Wow. Do you not realize that many people are not willing to react to cruelty. Maybe you will learn from this and think more before you act like a bully. Something tells me if you got a letter like your letter or Amanda Taaid's letter you would be reacting with foul and hurtful words. Exposure is a form of justice. Ms. Larsen did what others who work around this or have been Bullyed do. Help is everywhere for those who want it.

Shilling statement

False knowledge is more dangerous than ignorance. George Bernard Shaw.

Blogs

I have read this blog and believe it is her way to find support from others and to expose bullies. I do not see it as harrassing. The truth appears to be told since your letter confirms what she said. I have read her blog comments on other blogs and her goal is ending bullying.

Blogs

Thank you Ted J. I changed the title for my blog to allow for bigger interest in adult bullying.

Karma

I am Kim as in this letter. I used Karma when I found out from Amanda Taaid's Mother and Brother that the other Brother lost his job when he failed a drug test at work. I was made aware by his mother that yes he did use illegal drugs. To me Karma was getting caught. It was not my doing. Amanda truely believes what she says, but she is wrong about the fake miscarriages and being laughed out of court. What I say is in medical and court records. Miss Shilling you show the letter please show Amanda Taaid's proof. I do know what I say is true. Drs and public records show it. Please show how I made him lose his job. The lies need to end.

why?

Myopia is the only discription for Taaid.

Always a victum

I knew Amanda years ago. I find it heart breaking that she has not changed, or grown up. She was known poor Amanda by her own doing.

Bullies need to become the Bullied

I haven't read any of the comments, only the article; here's my take. If you try all reasonable methods suggested in the article and they don't work. You have to go after them. As long as you stay within the confines of the law go after him or her with a vengeance until the thought of you makes them sick and gives them the nightmares they gave you.
Have no mercy in your legal plan of attack. If anyone in life compromises your personal integrity or abuses you, you have to stand up, period. Turn the flight energy of terror and fear(that will remain in that state if not mobilized into fight ruining your life e.g. PTSD) turn it into attack mode and unleash hell(legally and always uncoupling rage from your actions; always take timing into account and execute when the time is right).
Take into account fundamental laws. Like yes if the person is dominant in mind and body you don't want to face him/her head on. Rather discover there hidden thumbscrew and come up with a way to exploit it.
As your confidence builds you now are equal in mind let's say. Now
you play nice and offer things to the unsuspecting victim he/she is now becoming. Their respect is also growing for you because they sense your strength of character. Gain their trust a bit get all the dirt you can on them, illegal behaviors etc.
Then without mercy unleash hell within your legal limits. A good place is in the courts, sue the bastard/bitch for harassment esp if they are over 18 and press full charges(or parent sue the kids parents til they are on the street if they are not cooperating). Better still, as not to be called a rat, anonymously report them before or while they are engaging in a crime, agitate them indirectly over and over, gaslight them, destroy them until they learn their lesson. And they will. They might even thank you for it some day. Most of these people are terrified children anyway. I've seen the toughest of guys get knocked out and cry like little girls never to show their face again. You can actually now probably beat the crap out of him/her physically if you wanted to that's how destroyed they are at this point.

One day when you are running a successful business and not taking crap from anyone you'll look back and laugh with a healthy sense of self.

If you are a small child of course you will need help from adults, but adults, don't underestimate the strength of a child either:)

The suffering from PTSD is far greater than the average human even has the capacity to understand. That is why I am encouraging people to stand up for their basic human rights.

This is only my opinion and what you do is up to you. Each individual, including bullies, must take self-responsibility for his or her actions. Above all take in different information and suggestions then decide for yourself what the best course of action is.

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Hara Estroff Marano is Editor at Large of Psychology Today and author of A Nation of Wimps: The High Cost of Invasive Parenting.

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Who says marriage is where desire goes to die?