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Kristi wanted bagels. I wanted...well, NOT bagels (see previous post for details). Do you think we are now in possession of three-dollar bagels from the Sunday farmers' market? Actually, the answer is no, we're not. But don't congratulate me yet! The only reason we have no three-dollar bagels is because Kristi ate them all yesterday. In other words, my illogic failed to penetrate her firewall of years of psychology training. Nuts!
Don't worry, though. I'm only getting warmed up. Here's another five strategies from the annals of illogic that will certainly (this time!) help you win any dispute:
• False Dilemma: There may be other options...-"Either you admit that you ate the ice cream, or you admit once and for all that you've been spiriting away jamocha almond fudge to a secret freezer in the basement."
• Golden Mean Fallacy: The truth is found in compromise-"Okay, okay, let's just admit that we're both wrong."
• Mistaking Logic for Truth: The argument is logical, only, the premises might not be-"If I bogarted the very last of the jamocha almond fudge, I would have at least one almond stuck in my teeth. I have no such almond(s). Thus am I exonerated!"
• Naturalistic Fallacy: Making a moral judgment based only on a statement of fact-"I bought the ice cream in the first place. Thus, it's only right that I eat the last of it."
• Nominal Fallacy: Naming is explaining-"You see, I'm thermophobic and thus must seek sugary, icy-cold desserts."
--Brain Candy (the book!)
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