My friend’s husband threw his back out while providing a sperm sample in the midst of their fertility treatment. He got stuck in the tiny masturbating room, hunched over, sample in hand, screaming for a nurse. (Or really anyone to get him out.) He ended up in one hospital bed getting his back straightened, and she, in another, getting his sperm.
Providing a tube of sperm isn’t always as fun as one would imagine. In Jon Cohen’s new book, Almost Chimpanzee, he describes coaxing sperm to donate. The purpose is to compare chimp and human sperm and figure out why people miscarry so much (about half the time when sperm meets egg) and why chimps rarely do.
The scientists, as Cohen writes in an October Atlantic Monthly piece, tried making a fake female chimp butt and hoped the male chimps would molest it and leave a sample. It didn’t work. Next, they enlisted a female scientist to coax a 16-year-old chimp to ejaculate into a tube. Cohen got to watch. The researcher got the goods and the chimp got one M&M as a reward.











