For our book in progress, we are interviewing women about their experiences trying to conceive. Here's one story we love because it exemplifies managing emotions and thoughts and shifting perception while trying to conceive. We are absolutely, positively not saying “just relax and it will happen.” Conception is a wildly complicated process. We just wanted to share one woman's coping strategy with you.
That sounds kind of new age-y, but I just sort of surrendered. I said, “I’m surrendering. What is the plan for me?” And just sort of leaving it open. I told myself, “I am going to give myself to the end of 2011, and if that doesn’t happen, I’m going to fill my life with other things.”
I was trying to make peace with it by learning to accept the unknown. Practicing daily mindfulness meditation helped me to be less reactive and more at peace in my mind. I felt all kinds of emotions: anticipation, sadness, hopefulness alternating with frustration, anxiety, and ultimately feeling worried that time was running out for our chances of trying to conceive. It’s funny because people would say, “As soon as you let go, you know, thinking about things too much, that’s when things happen.”