Beyond Bullying

Peace building at work, school, and home

The Burning Bed and Jodi Arias: The Abuse Defense Gone Wrong

When Francine Hughes killed her husband in 1977, her tragic act raised awareness of domestic abuse and "battered women syndrome." It also raised awareness of the common patterns of intimate partner stalking that turns deadly. Read More

Not Quite A Home Run

Janice Harper, Ph.D has written a very good article. It is just a shame that had to ruin it by persuing myth rathe than researching reality. Let me explain what I mean.

I lose count of the amount of articles I read on the subject of abuse that all contain the lines that a "few" men also suffer abuse. Or how, "abuse happens to more women than men." This is false but it happens often enough to sound like it is not an accident. Do NO editors ever check these statements before allowing these things to be published? Or do they know the truth but let these statement slide past them because they are afraid to go off the abuse narrative?

Because Janice Harper has the letters Ph.D after her name are we all supposed to just accept that she MUST know what she is talking about?

Perhaps Janice (And her editor) would like to look at some evidence that shows that in fact, as many men as women suffer abuse in the home? Also, that women are much more likely to initiate that violence and they are also more likely to use a weapon. She could start here: but this is just the tip of the iceberg. Scientific studies (As opposed to feminist advocate "research") as far afield as the Solomon Islands have found the same things consistantly.

Why then does the abuse industry constantly claim that the opposite to the reality is what is true? Well, they have a political vested interest in doing so and if the media did their jobs, they would know that. So powerful is this vested interest that feminists have been known to get rather violent to defend it. I have personally experienced this but don't take my word forit, listen to Dr Murray Straus Ph.D on the matter here: Dr Straus lays out the pattern of fraud, deception, evidence tampering, threats and violence people go through when they counter the feminist narrative with truth. A story one would expect the media to be very interested in. Why aren't they?

So please Ms Harper. Let's have no more of this nonsence: "Most crimes of domestic abuse and stalking are perpetrated by men, but just because the majority of victims are women...." Find out the truth and report it. Stop perpetuating myths. You do the public no favours and you actually harm the victims of abuse.

Just, STOP IT!

Okay. Sure. Whatever.

Okay. Sure. Whatever.

Okay. Sure. Whatever?

"Okay. Sure. Whatever." Is that the sum total of your concern to see the horrible subject of abuse is reported accurately?

"Okay. Sure. Whatever." That is the response of a sulking teenager having been told he/she is grounded but it should not be the response of an adult writing about the terrible pain and fear other adults go through at the hands of the psychotic among us.

"Okay. Sure. Whatever." Expresses the same attitude of the police officer I called for help after my abuser stabbed me after hitting me with a large piece of wood across my head. I received NO help at all and my abuser was able to leave the country with my infant son and leave me in terror of what she was capable of doing to him.

"Okay. Sure. Whatever." is the complacent attitude of someone more interested in making money from writing articles than in trying to seriously address the issues the article contains.

"Okay. Sure. Whatever." Does not cut it MS Harper PhD.

Does it?

hostile comments

I do not engage in serious discussions with people whose comments are openly aggressive and hostile, with a clear agenda. Had you written a respectful comment indicating you had a different view, and that you felt the data supported an alternative position, I would have been happy to address your points, and the weaknesses I perceive in your argument, but the comment you left is so clearly aggressive and disrespectful that it is not a conversation I will engage in.

It is a shame that you do not

It is a shame that you do not stop to consider the reasons behind what you call "aggressive comments." Perhaps if you were an abused male who sees virtually no resources given to help you. No shelters and a costant barrage of propaganda blaming you for own plight, and blaming an entire gender for a so-called "war on women" you might also be "aggressive." Of course, that would require an intelligent assessment of the reality of the mess the abuse industry is in, rather then just being a parrot for the disinfomation.

When a person kicks a dog over and over again, they should not be surprised if one day, the dog bites them. The key of course is simple, STOP KICKING THE DOG.

I guess that is too much to ask for from a professional who claims to study anthropology.

Jodi Arias Abuse

In the interviews with Jodi's parents, they refer to the other children in the family as "my younger daughter" and "my other kids". They never called them "sisters" or "brothers" to Jodi. I will bet that Jodi is not her father's daughter. He knows it, too. So, from the moment she was born,m she was ostracized from all those around her. She was present, but treated like she was absent. The gulf was real and likely measurable. Her lack of identity, her mirroring others for acceptance, and her ultimate desire to destroy a man close to her all come from her being illegitimate. The best way to find the truth is to have a paternity test. Her "absence" created rage and anger, and the only object of that rage would be a man close to her. She was, in fact, looking for Mr. Goodbar--only this time the man would be killed.


That's quite the conclusion you've drawn based on the flimsiest of evidence. You've managed to damn "illegitimate" children, Mr. Arias, Mrs. Arias and all parents who speak of their "other children" to total strangers. But the real question is, what does this have to do with the topic? It's not an essay about what motivated Jodi Arias, it's an essay about collective aggression aimed at a witness. Focus, my friend, and rethink your conclusions about the paternity of someone I assume you don't know at all, lest you find yourself making the same leaps in logic as Ms. Violette.


I agree completely with you. Yes, this thread may not be about what I am writing about, but I could not find anywhere else to post it. I am sure i will find more threads on which to post this idea. I do not have any sympathy for Jodi Arias. I am a survivor of abuse. I know what it is to either hote yourself or others. I will never. though, actg out of those feelings. I though of this while watching and listening to the parents on tape on Nancy Grace. The father, especially, used words in clearly "alienated" language. What matters is the demand that we understand Jodi to help prevent other children from growing into this kind of killer. Psychologically, again possibly off subject, Jodi was created to kill a man. I son;t believe in the death penalty, but she surely deserves it. And we, as involved observers are asked to make something useful out of this ghastly tragedy.

My faux pas

I apologize for my confusion. Your comment came amidst several others related to a more recent posting I did on "The Mobbing of Alyce LaViolette," so while I think you're way off on the illegitimacy thing, your comment wasn't so far off topic.

I just wrote another you may find helpful on "The Fertility and Futility of Hatred." It's easy to feel rage toward someone like Jodi Arias, who I also have no sympathy for, but ultimately, it serves no purpose other than to cause ourselves great pain.

mobbing or accountability for laviolette???

Hi Dr Harper. I don't condone 'mobbing', but in truth alyce laviolette and people she has trained over the past thirty years have used a 'lynch mob' mentality to use gender bias against men to destroy many relationships and men's lives without regard to facts and who was the true initiator of conflict. watching laviolette's testimony as a professed 'expert' was sickening. I recognized early on that she was a victim advocate who had gender bias against men (in this case against the murdered man Travis Alexander). her manner of trying to attack the prosecutor Juan Martinez to me was predictable.. 'do I make you angry mr martinez' when she tried baiting him is exactly the behavior she has taught around the country to try to provoke men and entrap them if theyeven respond with a raised voice. what's happening to laviolette is not mobbing, it is public outcry and backlash at a professed expert/book writer/trainer who showed contempt for the truth, contempt for truth in the courtroom, trying to show that she was smarter than the prosecutor, and actually came out to justify that woman (Jodi) murdering the real victim Travis. she chose to be in the public arens, she chose to overplay her position in court, and actually mmisrepresented her qualifications and experience. the millions of people who have directly or seen a friend /family member become a victim of the misused domestic violence system... for cusoty/property settlement or revenge for being spurnded (like Jodi).. those are the people who are lashing back at laviolette... and the system that has gotten out of control so people can make money off false allgations. no, not mobbing, just wanting their voices heard. I have seen the coached provoking and even assaulting of a man... it's not mobbing, it is a final accountability and really anger at her because of her conduct and misrepresentations in the Jodi arias trial. what else? the public speaking up aganst laviolette.. as they have a right to do.. to express their displeasure at her gender bias and trying to make a domestic violene murder victim the 'abuser' in his death. even her using the battered woman syndrome was flawed and tailored to fit an outcome she wanted (arias trial). the originator of the battered woman syndrome spoke publicly about how laviolette was misinterpretind and using that definition. mobbing? no, just trying to get American justice back to where it should be in re: domestic violence. she chose to be a public figure, and chose to misrepresent herself, the public has a right to speak on the facts and their opinons. however, there should be no threats.. only speaking to the facts.

men as victims, Harper's bazaar? thanks Harper

Hi Dr. Harper. I've read some of your articles and know you take your profession and opinions seriously. thanks for your informed take and stepping out of the safety of the past. I am in fact a professional man who has suffered greatly from false allegations (similar to Travis being falsely accused as an abuser in the Jodi arias trial). VAWA march 2013 ..violence against women act of 2013 now includes MEN, lesbians, gays as protected classes under federal VAWA law. this was done to address the gender bias within law enforcement, district attorneys, and service providers... which... like Alyce Laviolette advocated that men were the perps regardless of evidence. in my case, the person involved suffered from severe alcoholism, had four personality types (from her former husband court proceedings info), was a wonderful woman but also had emotional problems. even when law enforcement had to deal with her, they didn't file a police report because she was a woman. when men face false allegations and even dismissed or found not guilty.. or the accuser recants, the system destroys their reputation, the accused loses jobs, home, friends, everything. just 'arrested' on the record is assumed to be guilty. Alyce Laviolette is a prime example of what's been wrong with domestic violence advocates in this country.... with lies and information she didn't mind justifying the true victim being murdered.. based on gender bias.. from which she has made her income. I walked away from trouble, tried to move out, did all the right things.. I have no doubt this woman in my life was taken advantage of by some people in the domestic violence arena...although she made her own decisions. one domestic violence official admitted that 'many of us in the leadership don't really have any idea of domestic violence... as 'we live protected lives'. Dr. Harper, it's a nightmare. hopefully with you educated, informed, and up to date opinion this Jodi arias trial.. if she is found guilty.. along with professionals like you can help to make domestic violence programs more equitable and based on fact. I have learned so much about the abuses and false allegations. I'll bet laviolette's april 2013 book release doesn't have any reference to the 2013 VAWA that requires gender neutrality. when a man runs from a woman in public several blocks.. and the police officer says: "it doesn't matter"... and the man asks the officer to look at the two sixpacks of beer in the refrigerator and she is an alcoholic under the influence.. the officer responds: "it doesn't matter"... and she later admits she had him arrested because she didn't want to lose him.. there are major civil rights violations in the system and assault on constitutional rights. there is an organization that is trying to help stop the gender bias and false allegations using the 2013 VAWA. thanks for you articles. I have so much more to share. the Jodi arias trial is a prime example of what's wrong right now and how women (or men).. but likely women can get by with assaulting or killing someone by being the first one to claim it at the magistrate's office.. or like Jodi. I'm very familiar with civil and criminal casework, have a masters degree, a minor in psychology, plus experience. I have never seen such an assault of individual freedom and rights as in the current domestic violence arena. thanks again. we need more psyc people to stand up and advocate for gender neutrality and fact based domestic violence programs.

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Janice Harper, Ph.D., is a cultural anthropologist specializing in conflict and organizational cultures.


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