Beyond Blame

In my previous blog post, I discussed a reader who complained that his wife's use of sarcasm hurt his feelings. I wrote that the psychological roots of sarcasm are found in anger, distrust and fear, and if he wanted his marriage to survive and prosper he'd have to take action. Read More

Stopping Sarcasm

Dear Dr. Alasko: My wife constantly makes sarcastic remarks about me and the things I do. She'll say, "Well, that was a big help." Or, "Great job!" And, "I'm so glad you're here!" Etc. But of course I know she means the opposite because her of her angry tone of voice. Read More

My Husband Resents My Higher Income

Dear Dr. Alasko: I earn over twice what my husband makes. He's in the entertainment business and his schedule allows him to help with our two children, which I really appreciate. Read More

How to Get a Good Job

Dear Dr. Alasko: Last year I had enough of studying subjects I found useless and quit college. I've since learned that employers are biased in favor of a college graduate. Read More

How to Create New Patterns

In my last blog post, I began answering a reader who wondered why so many of her relationships were unsuccessful, from a marriage to an emotionally abusive husband to her brother’s stealing from her. Read More

Why Do Bad Things Happen to Me?

My experience has taught me that people who have difficulty recognizing when they're being exploited have a specific problem: they allow their emotions to overwhelm their thinking. Read More

Asking Your Date Core Questions

Why be coy about something as serious as being serious? And especially as life-changing as having a child, or children? Read More

How Does Denial Actually Work?

Dear Dr. Alasko: One of my family members likes to constantly accuse others of "being in denial.” When I question him on this, his explanations don't make much sense. I believe that either something is true or it’s not. So does denial really exist? And if it does, how does it work? Read More

Dealing with Hyper-Connected Youth

Dear Dr. Alasko: Our two sons, ages 9 and 13, love technology. My husband is himself a computer geek so he thinks it's great. He says the more they know the better equipped they'll be for their future. But I worry about the human side of their lives. Read More

How to Stop Dating — Respectfully

Dear Dr. Alasko: I consider myself a kind person, but I've never figured out a way to tell someone I've been dating that I'm no longer interested. Usually I try to get the message across by not answering the phone, etc., but that doesn't feel very good. Read More

Setting Limits on Anger

Since anger is both an emotion and a behavior, those subject to angry outbursts must set limits about which behaviors we will and won't tolerate. Read More

My Fiancé Has a Hair-Trigger Temper

Changing Longstanding Habits With Self-Support

"Since I was kid I've loved risky activities: skydiving, fast motorcycles, gambling. Now I'm married, have a child and a good job, and I realize my love of the adrenaline rush is a problem. I really want to change some of my bad habits but so far have had little success. Any suggestions?" Read More

Developing a Basic Agreement

Dear Dr. Alasko: Our marriage has survived for over twenty years and for a lot of the time we get along pretty well, but we have a chronic problem. We get into arguments over the same old issues: Money. Our kids. Even food. We recognize that we're really in an ongoing power struggle - but neither of us is willing to give in, and we can't seem to break this pattern. Read More

My Husband is Rigid and Rejecting

Dear Dr. Alasko: My husband takes pride in being raised on a working ranch. He's hard working, honest and dependable. But he's also very rigid and cynical, which means he disparages anyone who doesn't see the world in black/white terms. He doesn't like any of my friends who are artists or teachers, and especially despises my gay-couple friends. Read More

Denial and Delusion over Money

Dear Dr. Alasko: "Ryan" and I are discussing marriage but we have a problem with money. I'm from a large family for whom money was always tight and am still paying off college loans. Ryan's family, contrarily, paid for his college—yet he hasn't saved a penny. I make my own coffee every morning, while Ryan buys a mocha latte. Read More

My Date Has Big Money Problems

Dear Dr. Alasko: After my fifteen year marriage ended in divorce a year ago, I've been on a few dates with J., who I really like. He's new to the area and is setting up a professional office. But he seems to have some financial complications and gets irritated whenever money comes into the picture. Even paying for dinner can be stressful. Read More

My Mother Never Liked Me

Should I give up on my unloving mother altogether? Read More

Carl Alasko, Ph.D. is the author of Beyond Blame (Tarcher Penguin), and like his first book Emotional Bullshit, it has been published in five languages.

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