Study Exposes Marital Secret: The emotional inadequacy of husbands and the healing love of a good dog. Read More
First of all, I completely support the notion of a pet being a great and sufficient means of eving and giving love. THat is amazing.
Nevertheless, the part that connects this love and receiving of emotional support as it is tied to how well a husband emotionally supports his wife is a tad out of context and in my opinion, somewhat niave and childish in its implication.
I mean no disrespect first of all, in any manner. However, the study by New York times seems a little misleading because it basically stated how some women FEEL that their husbands are not as emotionally supportive as their pets, and not only does this misrepresent an entire gender, but it also is leaving out many considerations that must first be present before all husbands get blamed for a mere FEELING.
I have dated and been in numerous relationships, more than the average man, considering I am 32 and not yet married, and remained single throughout my 20s. THis experience, in and of itself, along with working around and with predominantly women in my profession for the past decade gives me, in my opinion, a solid base of interpretation in reference to female behavior in connection with relationships.
First, i respect women on a personial level so much more after dating so many and working with them for so long, a respect that did not exist before these experiences. Hence, with this respect came a piece of advice I received from more than one woman which basically I can paraphrase in a formulated quote as, "Don't always let women get away with their, at times, biased worldview."Of course I am being general, and so were these wise women.
TO accompany this, I have been in three serious relationships with women and have known others in which the woman has a pet that takes emotional precedence over their other relationships. Also, each one of these women would completely agree with and specify that their significant other was not the same emotional standard as the pet. However, each woman also would not explain, or maybe even understand, that is was choices they may have made involving the pet and life before the relationship with a partner or spouse even began that may in some ways dictate the chance a husband or partner ever had in the first place of meeting the often unspoken "emotional needs" that the woman had. I found this to be true in all of my experiences, and I admit, this is merely my opinion.
IN the end, I have seen many women fall into the trap of placing the responsibility of their own emotional well-being and thus needs as being that of an outside source, whether it be a partner or even a pet. I am not saying men do not do the same. However, I do see women complaining about men in this scenario much much more. Additionally, these same women that complain often are completely vague in what their emotional needs really are and furthermore, many women I have known seek out partners that were not able to meet these often unspoken needs to begin with. THis is when I become upset when one or two bad decisions (trust me, I know we are only human) can begin to create an easy, soothing path of victimhood while simultaneously creating a feeling of warm, soothing contempt by creating a nameless, faceless one gender antagonist out of all men, while merely a small percentage were the ones in the wrong.
In the end, it all becomes a big mess of inaccurate realities created by strong, misleading emotions (I am not saying feelings and emotions are wrong or bad). Many women forget that a relationship is not just about getting your own needs and wants met, emotionally and physically. It is a 50/50 responsibility, and if the other person is not doing their part, considering the woman has directly made her needs and wants known, then it is time to move on from that partner and either take care of your own needs on your own or find a better man to do the job, and trust me ladies, their are millions to pick from. These same responsibilities fall on men too.
Moreover, it is easy to claim a pet provides more emotional support when zero emotional energy has to be spent by an invidual, in this case a woman, to earn the affection of the pet. Therefore, to claim a dog as being emotionally superior in any manner to a human-being is a tad misleading and straight up childish if you ask me, and unfair to men.
However, I do not wish to take anything away from a relationship of love between anyone and a pet or to negate how wonderful being able to comfort oneself. I just think it innapropriate to remotely put all husbands under the roll of what is a steretype at best.
Man bashing at its finest. I'd suggest her next pet be a cat.
Takin' it kinda personally, don't you think?
Typical attitude and misrepresentation of reality.
of course dogs are satisfying women expect less from them.
If all a man had to do was be there, remain silent and lick her once in a while men would be perfect.
Sounds like somebody got left for a dog. Stings, doesn't it.
Sounds like another man hater who was left for someone who looked like like a dog.
How obnoxious and un-witty is it to call him "wasband"
the level of derision and condescension poorly disguised as wit is disgusting.
You're the first person who doesn't get it. That's okay. I'm happy to help you out. See, what I did there was a little wordplay (and by that I mean I was playing with words...)
He WAS my HUSBAND and so I COMBINED WAS with HUSBAND and GOT WASBAND.
Maybe you need me to be more precise?
WAS + HUSBAND = WASBAND
Thanks for your interest. Happy to explain anything else that went over your head.
Lol! It's kind of telling the snarky remarks being left behind. Seems to me like a lot of people here "Get it" and I don't mean your lame wordplay (nice condescending response though, sure puts this mean old man in his place.
"A dog and her dog" should have been the title for this article.
What a sadly snide article. Imagine the outrage if a man posted an article stating ANYTHING was more comforting than his wife. He would be chased out of here with a pitchfork.
Just proves that this website is also bereft of any sort of academic integrity.
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Pamela Cytrynbaum teaches at Northwestern University's Medill School of Journalism.
When and how should we open up to loved ones?