Because I'm the Mom

I actually have grown up in late 70s early 80s. And already then the dieting and body image was an obsession. Even behind the iron curtain where food was actually not in abundance and in real variety... My mother started to watch my weight since I was 12- 13. I was not allowed to have deserts, white bread or sugar. She didn't weigh me so, but I am genetically slender. The real problem started when I was very sick and I managed to loose a lot to weigh about 100 pounds at age of 17, and my mother found it strickingly beautiful. Ever since I was expected to wear size 0 and have BMI on 17. Since I have breasts that are big compared to my frame she wanted me to reduce them... And so on... As You can imagine I have been good in loosing weight when visitng home. For years... I was afraid my mom who told me that NOW You are fat- and she sent me to the scales.
Now in my 40s I am extremely stressed about having BMI close to 23 and I do see myself being semi-obese. So I haven't visited my home for a year now due my latest 5 pounds weight gain... That is not going away. LOL
But happily I have no daugtherts who inherited this... Since I have none. But not suprisingly so my son had something called selective eating disorder. He is now slender well-trained young man. He grew out of it. I did cook normal food. It was more just like me being picky from early on...
I have later come to a conclusion (that my pediatrician hubby shares and thats not often we agree, since I am more emotional type and he rational, I am more genetically inclined and he environmentally) - that there are families with eating disorders. It is like easy to notice- seldom anyone is in their normal weight (I guess it is BMI between 22 and 26(?)not 18) in these families and the children atart early with either not eating or overeating. It is a control issue. And more often than not the parents are somehow traumatized... who "help" their children or even encourage to get an unhealthy relationship to food.
Pluss there is something called epigenetic- parents who starved under world war 2 have different and more unnatural relationship towards food. It is not the means it either is the meaning... of a lot of their lives. My sons grandparents were like this. They went to shop twice a day - just to buy food. We at home try to do it once or twice a week ;-)
I also read someplace else that anorectics are often narcissists. And that I can definitively reckognize around me. Having some in my nearby viscinity and family ;-) Hopefully not in my own mirror.
That's just my personal opinions, nothing scientific.
Have anyone similar views?