Because I'm the Mom

How mothering pervades all relationships in life.

Your Guide to a Great Divorce

Where are you on the Divorce Spectrum?

Want a Great Divorce in 2012?

2012 Resolutions for a Great Divorce

Where Are You On the Divorce Spectrum? 

For those no longer married, if you share anything - children, pets, family, real estate - (but most importantly children), every year is The Year of The Divorce.

Divorces are as varied as the folks who get them. There are the Kramer vs. Kramer nuclear catastrophes that cause damage, heartache and pain rippling through generations.

There are the SBD types, Silent But Deadly, where the lack of any external emotion is replaced by a smoldering, equally searing silence.

There are the middle-of-the-road divorces where they could have stuck it out but something turned the screw just over the edge. These people tend to manage well for the most part, with some predictable flair-ups but mostly they're civil and stick to the DDP (Divorce Decree Playbook).

See All Stories In

Find a Therapist

Search for a mental health professional near you.

And then there's the kind where two people who love and (gasp) like each other deeply, did all they possibly could to MIW (Make It Work) but simply could not. You hang in as long as you can, so you can tell the kids (and yourselves) you made valiant efforts to stay together, and then finally you tear yourselves heartbreakingly asunder. You're exhileratedly relieved, deeply sad, damaged and broken, but utterly determined to do the least harm.

With that group you can miraculously find each other again doing your favorite part of the job you did in your marriage - parenting.

Where ever you are on the Divorce Spectrum, you can choose the higher road or the lower road. Every time. If I could be the boss of you, on behalf of your own sanity and your kids' mental health and well-being, I'd make these your Top 10 New Year's Resolutions in the Year of the Divorce. Say it with me:

In 2012, resolve to: Have a Great Divorce

 

 

Pamela Cytrynbaum teaches at Northwestern University's Medill School of Journalism.

more...

Subscribe to Because I'm the Mom

Current Issue

Dreams of Glory

Daydreaming: How the best ideas emerge from the ether.