My brother's heart "is local."
That's all I know. It's all I could stand to let the Gift of Hope organ donation coordinator tell me that last, long night, just before we left the Chicago hospital for the last time six weeks ago. He said my brother was a "homerun donor," a rare organ donor whose every offering matched and saved a life. This makes perfect sense to me. In his life, every fiber of my brother's being thrummed to connect with everyone he encountered. In death, too, he was a perfect match for the world.
The letter should arrive any day, the letter that tells the story of what happened after we said goodbye.
"During the first 18 months after a family's loss, we provide a series of communications to donor families. One of the most important letters will come to families about six weeks after the donation-a letter that provides general information about the recipients and how they are doing. For families of tissue donors, we provide information on the process that takes place from the time of donation to the time that donated tissues are provided for transplant."
"A donor's family will be told the age, sex, state and other general characteristics of recipients. If both the donor family and the recipient agree to release information to one another, they may exchange names, correspond and even meet...."
I want to write more about the experience, about what organ donation did for me, is doing for me, in my grieving process. I want to take this and find a way to be an advocate. I want to be the person who makes meaning, who finds transformation, redemption, purpose.
But I can't yet. I'm not there yet. Not even close. Where I am is checking the mail every 15 minutes; freaking out waiting for that letter. I'm the one in my family who felt able to handle the information, who dealt mostly with the people from Gift of Hope at the hospital and after. I'm the one who asked the awful questions and answered the ones that were even worse.
I don't think they want to know what I may find out yet. So for now, I'm alone, 2000 miles away, waiting for the letter.
I want to meet them all, the recipients. I want to grab hold of their hands and tell them who he was. They can decide not to communicate with us, the "donor family," but I hope they want to meet. I hope they choose to connect.
Gift of Hope: http://www.giftofhope.org/about-us/about-us.htm
Wendy Marx Foundation for Organ Donor Awareness: http://www.transplantbook.com/foundation.html
