Because I'm the Mom

How mothering pervades all relationships in life.

Pamela Cytrynbaum is on the faculty at Oregon State University's new media communications department. See full bio

October 21, 2009

Living with The Great Ache

Since July 11, my brother's wife and I have talked every night before we go to sleep (that is to say, before I chemically induce sleep). For the first month after my brother's death, her beloved husband's death, we didn't really speak. We just sat and cried on the phone, 2000 miles dividing us but a gaping pit of pain uniting us. Read More

October 18, 2009

BFF or Toxic Mess? Big life events reveal strengths and faultlines in female friendships

It's always tough being the first friend in your best-gal-group to make one of life's big leaps. First one to get engaged, move away, get married, get pregnant. Among women friends, even though this is all good news, you're breaking a certain code. Frankly, you're wrecking things irrevocably because now they will never be the same. Read More

October 17, 2009

Fighting for our Daughters

Here are a few crucial weapons for your arsenal in the War on our Daughters' Self Esteem. It's only a quick partial list. There is much, much more. I'll keep posting, and would love to get your recommendations.

Daughters.com
http://www.daughters.com/ Read More

October 2, 2009

Pre-Tween Silent Scream: Watching Your Daughter's Self-Esteem Plummet

It's a war on our daughters.

September 29, 2009

Running from the human race

I was one of 874 runners in a 5K this weekend.
I'm not really a runner. I mean, I run. Slowly. Very. Very. Slowly. Like as slow as the guy, say, who picks up the poop behind the tortoise. And I run every day alone. Read More

September 6, 2009

It's here

The letter from the Gift of Hope organ donation organization arrived. White 8 by 11. Thick, like the ones you got when you knew you'd been accepted by a college. Read More

August 31, 2009

Waiting for the Letter: Finding out what happened at the other end, the happy end, of organ donation

My brother's heart "is local." Read More

August 25, 2009

What Grief Takes With It

Maybe you can't take it with you, but grief sure don't pack light. As the days and weeks go by and the (sur)reality of losing my brother sets in, it's becoming increasingly clear how much I (fear, believe, think) I no longer have - how much life death takes with it. Read More

August 23, 2009

Hypervigilant anxiety meets worst-case reality: I got punk'd by my own brain

Can grief be an antidote to anxiety? Read More

August 21, 2009

"What are you doing to take care of yourself?" Anybody know why it takes a deep loss to force a Mom to ask herself that question?

I still don't know how to answer, and yet it is the first question everybody asks when they hear I've lost my brother.
What AM I doing to take care of myself? I never know what to say.

Therapy. Lots of therapy.
School shopping.
Not doing stuff I hate.
Avoiding everybody.
Saying no. Read More