Tucker Max is a blogger, writer, and self-proclaimed narcissist who has gained notoriety for writing about his drunken and sexual exploits as well as epic fails. His website, TuckerMax.com, has received millions of visitors since he launched it in 2002, and his two books I Hope They Serve Beer in Hell and Assholes Finish First have sold over 2 million copies between the two. His first book, I Hope They Serve Beer in Hell was turned into a movie by the same name in 2009. In 2006, an article in The New York Times claimed Tucker is one of the founders of the "fratire" movement, even though Tucker Max was never actually in a fraternity.
I came across Tucker a few months ago when I was working on a cover story for Psychology Today about the allure of narcissists (see "The Peacock Paradox: How to Spot a Narcissist"). I was looking for a public narcissist to interview, and after being cursed out by Charlie Sheen from the stage of Radio City Music Hall, I was happy when Tucker Max agreed to chat with me. We ended up having a lengthy chat where he answered every single one of my questions (and I had amassed a lot of questions) about topics ranging from sex, attraction, and evolutionary psychology, to narcissism, creativity, and greatness. Below is an excerpt of our interview (see the complete, raw and uncut interview here).
***WARNING: This material has explicit content. I recommend you go to TuckerMax.com and read some of his stories first. If they are not your cup of tea, then check out my other interviews instead, as they may interest you more.***
SCOTT: What traits do you think that you have in particular that attracts so many women?
TUCKER: All right, well, here's the thing. I'm a decent-looking guy, but I've never walked into a room and got a girl because of how I looked. Look, I'm never excluded because of my looks. I just don't stand out. When I walk in the room, when no one knows me, and I'm just a random Joe among a bar of people who are out, drinking or whatever, some sort of social event, just physically, I don't pull [women], which is fine. How you look is one of the least important things for guys. I learned that a long, long time ago, I guess kind of intuitively, and I sort of understood it and reverse engineered it.
There are two things that really matter. The most important thing is power. But how power is displayed in different societies or subgroups within societies, can always be different. For instance, in America in the 20th, 21st century, I think fame is the most important, or the most valued indicator of power. I know just in my experience, because I've been as anonymous as you are, as anyone is. And I'm now famous, and I can tell you the difference. It's profound, dude. I understand fundamentally what it's like to be the hottest girl in the bar now, because that's what it's like to be a famous dude.
That's the best comparison if you're a famous guy. It's like being the hottest girl in the bar. Girls know what it's like. A beautiful girl knows what it's like to be constantly pursued and to be viewed as an object and to always have your pick and to be able to do all kinds of s**t and get away with it because you're so hot, guys don't matter, or don't care.
Being a famous guy, it is the exact same thing. I think being famous in America is the best thing you can do if you want to get laid. It's more important than money and more important than power. If you think of political power or something like that, that sort of notion of power, it's more important than just pure status.
I mean, you put me in a room with a bunch of girls and put me with someone that has a lot of power and a lot of status but not really a lot of fame outside of his, niche, right? I'm going to pull 100 times more [women] than him in almost any room, in any situation that's not directly in his sort of like sphere of influence, because I'm famous. I'm more famous in more circles than he is.
SCOTT: Is it everything you ever wanted?
TUCKER: Oh, dude, are you kidding? This is awesome [laughs]. This is the brass ring for a guy. For a 19-year-old guy, the brass ring is, I can get any girl I want. Any guy who says I can get any girl I want is a f**ing idiot, not even a liar. That's stupid.
But I have what is, in effect, an unlimited supply of [women]; the same thing as a pretty girl. Even the mediocre girl has an unlimited supply of [men], but a pretty girl has an unlimited supply of high-quality [men]. As a dude, I don't have enough [time] to f** all the [women] that get thrown at me. I don't have time in the day. It would take three full-time jobs for me to hook up with every girl I could.
SCOTT: Do you find there are certain kinds of girls that you get more easily?
TUCKER: Oh, yeah, of course. Here's the thing. I don't even pursue girls anymore. I mean, I could obviously still pursue girls. It's not like I can't. But I don't have to pursue girls anymore. Girls come to me.
SCOTT: Do you notice a pattern amongst the kind of girls that come to you?
TUCKER: Yeah, of course, dude. Clearly it's going to be a self-selecting pool, you know. But it's not necessarily the same self-selecting pool as, say, the girls that go after like NBA players. You know, even big-time academics kind of have groupies. Anyone with any sort of fame. So like in your micro-world, or in your niche, you're kind of like a celebrity. You see the same. It's not a fundamentally different pattern.
But sometimes when you get a magnitude change in the scale, it becomes a qualitatively different thing. I'm sort of on the scale now where it's like qualitatively different, because I've been through all the stages. I've been completely anonymous, like not famous in any world at all except maybe, you know, among my friends [laughs].
And I've been a micro-celebrity. Now, I'm not Brad Pitt, but, I'm on TMZ, and I'm in the New York Post and New York Times does profiles about me and all that. So I fit under any reasonable definition of the word celebrity now. I get recognized every day when I'm out. That kind of stuff.
SCOTT: But how would you describe the kind of girls that--
TUCKER: You're talking about the self-selecting nature of the girls who pursue me, like a female me?
SCOTT: Yeah. How would you describe them?
TUCKER: That's one type of girl.
SCOTT: You said in "Assholes Finish First" that your wheelhouse are hot and emotionally unstable girls.
TUCKER: Okay, that's kind of tongue in cheek. I mean, it's funny because it's true, though. There's a truth to it. All right, that's the easiest type of girl I've found. I also get the girls who are smart. The smarter the girl, the more clever the girl, the better sense of humor the girl has, the wittier the girl, I always do better because they appreciate the subtlety of my type of humor much more than just some stupid girl who really likes Justin Bieber. You know, [chuckles] she's not going to get a lot of my jokes.
I mean, I can always model a lot of different behaviors if I want to and hook up with different types of girls, but I'm not 22 anymore, and I don't do that s**t anymore.
SCOTT: What do you think girls mean when they say "nice guys"?
