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A Beautiful Grief

Facing life after loss with peace.

Career
Developing Patience and Compassion after Loss

Cheryl Eckl on October 7, 2013

Perhaps one reason we don't heal from loss is that we focus too much on trying to accept the absence of our loved ones rather than working to reinforce the connection to those qualities that were most near and dear to us.

Perhaps one reason we don't heal from loss is that we focus too much on trying to accept the absence of our loved ones rather than working to reinforce the connection to those qualities that were most near and dear to us.

Grief
A Letter to Lea

Cheryl Eckl on July 15, 2013

An open letter to Lea Michele and all those who mourn the sudden loss of a loved one. It is possible for the worst thing that ever happened to you to become the most important. And it will do so if you can relax into the compassionately mysterious work of grief.

An open letter to Lea Michele and all those who mourn the sudden loss of a loved one. It is possible for the worst thing that ever happened to you to become the most important. And it will do so if you can relax into the compassionately mysterious work of grief.

Memory
Holding On and Letting Go

Cheryl Eckl on May 26, 2013

Even difficult memories can be valuable if we use them as a springboard for personal growth and insight. If they lead us to greater compassion, the experience was not in vain.

Even difficult memories can be valuable if we use them as a springboard for personal growth and insight. If they lead us to greater compassion, the experience was not in vain.

Grief
Elder Grief 4: Considering "Ohio"

Cheryl Eckl on April 17, 2013

Perhaps we, as a society, need to stop fearing death. To embrace it as being a natural step into another realm. To stop seeing mortality as a failure of medicine to succeed. And to stop using medicine as a panacea for our fear of the unknown.

Perhaps we, as a society, need to stop fearing death. To embrace it as being a natural step into another realm. To stop seeing mortality as a failure of medicine to succeed. And to stop using medicine as a panacea for our fear of the unknown.

Grief
The Challenge of Unofficial Loss

Cheryl Eckl on March 24, 2013

Where it gets difficult to find support is when the change you are experiencing is what I call “unofficial loss.”

Where it gets difficult to find support is when the change you are experiencing is what I call “unofficial loss.”

Relationships
Finding the Gift in "Farewell"

Cheryl Eckl on March 1, 2013

The psychological rewards for self-reliance are enormous and we can only bestow them on ourselves.

The psychological rewards for self-reliance are enormous and we can only bestow them on ourselves.

Grief
Keeping Grief in Perspective

Cheryl Eckl on January 1, 2013

Today I would like to suggest that each of us take a step back from sorrow and loss to review the golden nuggets of awareness that may lie unnoticed in the ruins.

Today I would like to suggest that each of us take a step back from sorrow and loss to review the golden nuggets of awareness that may lie unnoticed in the ruins.

mother and daughter
Grief
Elder Grief 3: How to Move Your Loved One into Assisted Living

Cheryl Eckl on September 8, 2012

Are you faced with moving a loved one into assisted living? Here are five recommendations from a caregiver/advocate who has been through the challenges and survived to share her wisdom.

Are you faced with moving a loved one into assisted living? Here are five recommendations from a caregiver/advocate who has been through the challenges and survived to share her wisdom.

Caregiving
Elder Grief, Part 2: Managing Care Provider Hand-Offs

Cheryl Eckl on June 30, 2012

A caregiver/advocate must understand that he or she may be the only person who is watching the entire treatment process and who continues to see their loved one as a human being rather than as a collection of symptoms or body parts that aren't working properly.

A caregiver/advocate must understand that he or she may be the only person who is watching the entire treatment process and who continues to see their loved one as a human being rather than as a collection of symptoms or body parts that aren't working properly.

Grief
Elder Grief: The Hidden Burden of Advanced Age

Cheryl Eckl on May 24, 2012

Recent experiences with the declining health of my 93-year-old mother cause me to consider that perhaps even worse than dying young is living to be very old, with little quality of life due to several serious ailments, but not being sick enough to leave this world.

Recent experiences with the declining health of my 93-year-old mother cause me to consider that perhaps even worse than dying young is living to be very old, with little quality of life due to several serious ailments, but not being sick enough to leave this world.

Denial
Is It Really Denial?

Cheryl Eckl on May 7, 2012

Over the past several days I have had occasion to speak to two individuals about the concept of denial. Which got me to thinking about how loosely the term is used and how careful we need to be in ascribing the behavior to someone else.

Over the past several days I have had occasion to speak to two individuals about the concept of denial. Which got me to thinking about how loosely the term is used and how careful we need to be in ascribing the behavior to someone else.

Grief
More Than a Feeling

Cheryl Eckl on April 25, 2012

Through the deaths of two husbands and a daughter, I have learned that 'Grief' is not just a feeling, but a skill. And though death seems an inconvenient time to practice, it is a time to begin to gracefully embrace something that we all share in common.

Through the deaths of two husbands and a daughter, I have learned that 'Grief' is not just a feeling, but a skill. And though death seems an inconvenient time to practice, it is a time to begin to gracefully embrace something that we all share in common.

Grief
Risking Recovery from Grief

Cheryl Eckl on April 12, 2012

As with any experience that propels us into a luminous awareness of life's deepest mysteries, we must eventually step back from the brink, integrate what we have learned at the cliff edge, and get back to our work in the world—that can seem so very dull in comparison.

As with any experience that propels us into a luminous awareness of life's deepest mysteries, we must eventually step back from the brink, integrate what we have learned at the cliff edge, and get back to our work in the world—that can seem so very dull in comparison.

Grief
Give Us This Day Our Daily Grief

Cheryl Eckl on March 10, 2012

For at least three years after my husband's death, grief was my one true guide and the guardian of my process for moving forward in life. Thank goodness grief knew where it was taking me, because I didn't have a clue.

For at least three years after my husband's death, grief was my one true guide and the guardian of my process for moving forward in life. Thank goodness grief knew where it was taking me, because I didn't have a clue.

Grief
The Mystery of Letting Go

Cheryl Eckl on March 6, 2012

In order for holding not to be grasping we must also hold a conversation with the Unknown that begins with what we think we know and journeys into the misty realms of the present and future that do not readily identify themselves.

In order for holding not to be grasping we must also hold a conversation with the Unknown that begins with what we think we know and journeys into the misty realms of the present and future that do not readily identify themselves.

Fear
What to Do About Valentine's Day

Cheryl Eckl on February 11, 2012

It's Valentine's Day weekend—which always brings up for widowed persons the question of loving again after loss. Clearly, this is a matter I have avoided because, in surveying my present circumstance, I realize that I have replaced my husband with Apple products, not with a sentient being.

It's Valentine's Day weekend—which always brings up for widowed persons the question of loving again after loss. Clearly, this is a matter I have avoided because, in surveying my present circumstance, I realize that I have replaced my husband with Apple products, not with a sentient being.

Relationships
Maintaining the Thread of Contact

Cheryl Eckl on February 5, 2012

He was fascinated by life after death and eagerly worked to prepare himself for the journey. It's almost as if he saw himself parachuting into a new world. He wanted to hit the ground running and immediately begin to explore his new surroundings.

He was fascinated by life after death and eagerly worked to prepare himself for the journey. It's almost as if he saw himself parachuting into a new world. He wanted to hit the ground running and immediately begin to explore his new surroundings.

Grief
Overcoming Blocks to Healing Grief

Cheryl Eckl on January 11, 2012

The grief process is like nature's secret weapon because in our helplessness we become malleable. It's the giving up part that is most important.

The grief process is like nature's secret weapon because in our helplessness we become malleable. It's the giving up part that is most important.

Grief
Life Is Good: A Holiday Message from Loki & Leela

Cheryl Eckl on December 26, 2011

We are meant to eventually come back out into the sunshine of life. And I can say with confidence that really "working your grief" and allowing it to work on you is one very powerful way through to the other side of sorrow.

We are meant to eventually come back out into the sunshine of life. And I can say with confidence that really "working your grief" and allowing it to work on you is one very powerful way through to the other side of sorrow.

Grief
Coping with Grief at the Holidays

Cheryl Eckl on December 10, 2011

If we can drill into the essence of what makes a good holiday, are there activities or behaviors that we can incorporate, even if we've been hit with a grief scenario that naturally makes us contract?

If we can drill into the essence of what makes a good holiday, are there activities or behaviors that we can incorporate, even if we've been hit with a grief scenario that naturally makes us contract?