Can Your Brain Get Obese With Love?

Are you in a long-term relationship? Have you noticed the passion fading a little lately? If yes, you would not be unusual — after the initial throes of union, desire levels plummet for most couples.

But did you know why? Well I have an as-yet-untested theory you might like to think about. In fact I'm going to take a leap here and request that you put your evidence-hungry tendencies aside for a little while and ask yourself a question: What if your loved-up brain was a little... well... flabby?

Let me explain the reasoning behind my bizarre enquiry.

When a healthy-weight person eats a palatable food, their brain experiences a spike of activation in areas associated with reward and desire, which is probably related to release of dopamine.

But when an obese person eats the same food, this response is blunted.

We don't know exactly why this is. But there's good evidence to suggest that one reason could be that years of Twinkies and Cheetos have effectively worn out the pleasure circuits. They simply no longer have the capacity to generate the same chemical hit — at least not in response to the same old combinations of fat, sugar and salt.

What might this have to do with the fact that your heart no longer goes pitter patter when sharing special time with your husband / wife / long-term date?

Well I've absolutely no direct evidence for the following — and clearly your girlfriend offers the potential of many more rewarding and complex joys than an overly-yellow sponge cake with a dubious filling. But I don't think it's unreasonable to wonder whether all that blissful canoodling (and the other thing) could have effectively produced the same outcome as so many Happy Meals. What if your brain can eventually get worn down by too much person-specific euphoria? What if it can essentially become obese with love?

Naturally, the theoretical effects on the relationship would differ between individuals.

It might not necessarily seem like a problem — dopamine isn't everything, and oxytocin-mediated feelings of affection and attachment may be quite enough to satisfy your neural machinery.

But if you or your love-buddy have a tendency towards a roving eye, you might start looking out for other dopamine sources.

And if you're a tenacious, emotional or compulsive type you might start bingeing on your partner, making more demands of them, and hoping to make up in quantity what you lack in quality — the "obese" response.

Whatever your personal tendencies, though (and whatever the actual biochemical and psychological underpinnings of the fading of your ardor—dopamine might have nothing to do with it), can anything be done to get the excitement back?

Probably yes.

Anthropologist / neurocience fan Helen Fisher advocates tricking pleasure circuits into firing by embarking on new dopamine-inspiring adventures with your beloved.

Another option might be to experiment with a little moderation to let those theoretically weary neurons up-regulate themselves — after all, distance makes the heart fonder and all that (although I wouldn't recommend the full Edward).

And here's another thought: what about trying to tune out your dopamine grumbles and spend more time meditating on the rewarding aspects of your relationship instead? Many therapists advocate mindfulness as a method to tackle obesity and binge eating — and there's no reason why you shouldn't take a similar approach to your long-term romance.

Happy Valentine's Day, all!