Have you ever noticed that men are
better dieters than women? My girlfriends sweat and strain for months to lose just a couple of extra inches. But when my male friends decide to banish their beer belly it's gone in a matter of weeks. How can life be this cruel?
Well it's partly because whereas God has blessed the female sex with a truly remarkable aptitude for packing down fat on our butts and thighs, men tend to stockpile around their middles. This ‘visceral fat' is bad news for the heart, but it's also more metabolically active, and therefore easier to get rid of.
Men are also heavier, with more muscle. So when they exercise they're actually working harder than women, and hence burning more blubber.
But quite apart from their physical advantage, boys may also have a psychological headstart. Whereas most girls start obsessing about being skinny as soon as they can utter the words, ‘Does my butt look big in this?' most boys either don't think about weight, or dream about being bigger, not smaller.
This means that when your boyfriend eventually decides he can no longer blame his increasing frame on ‘big bones', he begins his diet free from the baggage of a hundred previous failed attempts.
He is less likely to have a list of carb and fat-heavy ‘forbidden foods' which he denies himself, so he is less vulnerable to cravings. He may be more vigorous in his attempts to slim down through physical exercise, which helps to boost his mood and keep him on the straight and narrow. And preparing food and eating with others may be less central to his life, so he is not triggered to indulge as often.
On the other hand, he likes drinking beer. A lot. He probably enjoys watching sport more than playing it. And his mates will show him absolutely no mercy if he orders the tuna salad with the dressing on the side. Women are much much better at supporting each other in their weight loss attempts.
So perhaps the right approach is not male, or female, but somewhere inbetween. A rigorous program of encouragement and ego-stroking from your nearest and dearest (‘Your butt? Never looked smaller'), combined with frequent exercise and occasional foody indulgences so you don't feel deprived.
Sounds easy, doesn't it? I think I'm going to call it...the Transsexual Diet.
