Attending to the Undervalued Self

A fresh approach to those times when you doubt your own worth

by Elaine N. Aron, Ph.D.

Time Magazine: "The Power of (Shyness)" and High Sensitivity

No, we are not necessarily shy and not always introverted, but the book which prompted the article, Susan Cain's "Quiet: The Power of Introverts in a World that Can't Stop Talking," is actually more about HSPs than social introverts, so we're getting there. Perhaps in a year or two the highly sensitive person will be Time's person of the year! Read More

Depression During the Holidays

The shadow side of this period of light and hope is darkness and despair, and many people fall into darkness at this time of year. They feel left out. Read More

Three Risk-Free, High-Yield Investments

In these uncertain times everyone wants a safe place to invest their time and energy--and money if they have any. Ideally an investment is not only safe, but grows in value, as when you invest in your own education or in a growing company. Read More

Understanding the Highly Sensitivity Person: Sensitive, Introverted, or Both?

After reading Sense and Sensitivity in the July/August Psychology Today [Note: full text available in printed edition only at this time], an article about highly sensitive people (HSPs), Ron wrote, "I quickly identified with being highly sensitive. I won't bother covering ... why... let's just say reading the article was enough to make me cry. Read More

The Wound with No Name

For emotional reasons, some people cannot go out and look for a job. Or they cannot keep a job. They cannot bear criticism, can't get along with others, or maybe don't even know why. Or they work as if driven by demons, but remain unmarried and friendless. Many overeat, gamble too much, drink too much, buy things they cannot afford, and can't stop. Read More

Watch Out for Those Touchy, Treacherous, Hurting Complexes

Among the depth-psychology tools we need for living life, understanding complexes is your handy screwdriver. It opens up many things and closes some as well. We all have complexes. They are the "building blocks of the personality," as Jung called them. Read More

Consulting with Your Wisest Self

The undervalued version of yourself is only one of many "self states." By a self state, I mean the way we think and feel in a particular situation or role. You are still you, but you may also feel almost like a different person whether you are with your parents, best friend, supervisor at work, etc. Read More

Remember the Soul?

Today good therapy is said to be brief, focused on a diagnosis, and manualized for standardization. There is more than a hint that it is unethical to look any deeper. However, that is all changing. Read More

Time to Find Out: Are You Highly Sensitive?

Are you famous for being slow to make decisions? Do you need more down time than your friends do? Are you bothered by noise, crowds, and having too much going on at once? Are you unusually conscientious? Creative? Have a rich inner life? Read More

Easy Ways to Escape Feeling "No Good"

Let's get practical. As I said in my first blog post, we all undervalue ourselves at times. In a sense we all have many selves besides our core self. I am sure you are a very different person when you are, for example, with your parents, starting a new job, singing in the shower, or being stopped for speeding. Read More

Ranking and Linking, For Better and For Worse

Self-affirmations do not help when we are hit with low self-esteem because this universal problem results from our natural response to defeat, part of our broader instinct to rank ourselves among others. The first step is to better recognize ranking and linking behaviors, the two things we do all day but hardly think about. Read More

Elaine Aron, Ph.D., is a research and clinical psychologist, and the author of The Undervalued Self, The Highly Sensitive Person, and The Highly Sensitive Child.

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