Artificial Maturity

Helping kids meet the challenge of becoming authentic adults

Curing a Critical Spirit in Students

One professor said it was as if the students were getting paid to complain.

photo credit: <a href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/danielfoster/3752652055/">danielfoster437</a> via <a href="http://photopin.c

Every one of these deans, provosts, directors, faculty members and coaches had stories to tell about how much their students had criticized others. From freshmen to seniors, these students seem to constantly find fault with the classes, residence halls, administration, sports programs (both intramurals and intercollegiate athletics) and, of course, the food they were “forced” to eat. The adults saw, in fact, a “critical spirit” in many of their students. One professor said it was as if the students were getting paid to complain and critique the campus.

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Obviously, constructive criticism is healthy in appropriate dosages. Each of us can learn from our end-users and discover how to provide a better experience for them. However, I think I smell a rat. As Growing Leaders partners with schools each year, we have witnessed an increasing number of students who carelessly criticize programs, ideas and institutions. We are discerning a critical spirit among young Millennials.

Why is this happening?

Even the students I interview acknowledge a growing sarcasm and critical edge in themselves. So why is criticism on the rise today? Let me suggest some reasons:

Students are conditioned to judge.
We ask them to. From Reality TV shows to opinion surveys, we beg them to share their opinion, whether it’s informed or not. No wonder they’re critics.

They’ve been given so much by parents, schools and teams
Many of them have been provided for so well that they feel entitled to more. As a result, they feel obliged to criticize when the provision isn’t what they want.

They’ve been furnished with high expectations, as special and gifted.
Many middle class kids grew up with high expectations, because they’ve been told they are special and gifted. They expect a good return for their presence.

They’re pushed to compare their lives on Facebook, Instagram, Twitter, etc.
Nearly all of them grew up using social media—which is a source of jealousy. They compare clothes, vacations and friends. It invites them to hide and criticize.

They mask their own insecurities through critiquing others’ flaws.
Psychologists use the term, “high arrogance, low self-esteem.” Often, criticism is a cover for insecurity: if I judge others, I may avoid being judged myself.

They feel they appear more intellectual and savvy when they criticize.
Criticizing others tends to furnish a feeling of superiority in teens. When we critique, we at least look like intellectuals. This is en vogue for students.

The irony of our day is this: we may have produced the most critical kids in modern history, but also ones who cannot take criticism themselves. Many faculty members and employers tell me how little it takes for a young person to spiral downward emotionally when they receive a little criticism on an assignment. We have created little monsters—kids who harshly judge others but are fragile themselves.

Cures for a critical spirit
So let me offer some common-sense ideas for what we can do to reduce this critical spirit and develop young adults with a healthy sense of reality. My hope is this list will enable you to equip students to practice critical thinking without being critical:

1. Cultivate gratitude on a regular basis.
A growing number of schools are assigning students to keep a gratitude journal, where they acknowledge the people who made their life better. It’s difficult to be critical or angry and grateful at same time.

2. Discuss self-awareness and self-management.
Often a critical spirit can be the result of low self-awareness. Students may have no idea they are guilty of the very traits they condemn. It’s the proverbial problem of the log in our own eye, and the result of low emotional intelligence.

3. Don’t allow criticism without a solution.
This one will cure critics quickly. When I worked with John Maxwell, he had a rule: you can’t bring a problem to him without some ideas to solve it. It’s easy to spot problems. Critics are a dime a dozen. But critical thinking helps them see solutions.

4. Demonstrate the value of diversity.
Often we criticize when we don’t see how helpful diversity of perspectives, ethnicity or gender can be. Social scientists tell us we’re wired to assume that different means worse—even pre-school aged kids show this. Work to show that different is beautiful.

5. Help them learn to evaluate objectively.
One prescription for incessant criticism is to help students evaluate situations well. When they learn to think deeply, not superficially, they begin to see a reason behind a choice or behavior that originally looked worthy of judgment.

6. Enable them to be a good-finder.
Challenge them to become a good-finder. This means, within the first 30 seconds of meeting someone new, or engaging in a new situation, locate something positive or redemptive about it. This helps produce a better attitude in all of us.

Any additions to this list?

Tim Elmore is the founder and president of Growing Leaders, an international non-profit organization created to develop emerging leaders.

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