Art of Charisma

Teaching men and women how to meet and connect.

Finding Inspiration in an Unexpected Place

Why cemeteries inspire me to seize the moment.

imageYesterday during my run I ran though the cemetery. I love cemeteries. Looking at the headstones, reading the names and dates. My favorite headstones are the ones with two names chiseled on them, a husband and wife. He’s dead but she’s still living. Her date of birth is the only date under her name. Sometimes she’s outlived him by twenty or thirty years already. Kinda sad, but kinda beautiful too.

You're probably wondering what all this has to do with meeting people. Well, it has a lot to do with meeting women or men or whomever you want to meet.

Let’s face it, Internet dating is competitive, and full of unattractive and sketchy people. You could meet someone at work, but unless you tend bar, that number is limited. To meet someone, I recommend just walking up and speaking to attractive strangers. And that, my friends, takes guts. The guts to face possible rejection and humiliating experiences.

And that is where the dead come in. The dead have one single message for you. I hear them say it to me every time I run through a cemetery. They whisper, “See you soon.”

The dead know that you and I will one day be history. Our time is limited. The stasis of our life is illusionary. You must take advantage of your opportunities while they exist. You have an opportunity now. Too many people spend their lives wishing to find someone amazing or wondering when they will become an outgoing person who has "opportunities."

Maybe they’re waiting for the perfect moment to approach that hottie at the coffee shop. Well, cemeteries are full of people who waited their entire lives for that moment. Most people never go for what they want.

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I walk thought the sea of headstones. Here’s a guy: Jacob Ralston 1889 -1929. I wonder what his life was like. Did he love? Did he yearn for more? Or did he spend his life in quiet desperation?

He and I were the same age. Except I’m still alive and he’s gone to dust. What will I do with my life? Will I take on challenges? Will I risk rejection for a chance to win the prize? Will I push myself to meet the people I find attractive? Or will I sit back, wait and one day pass from this world with regret?

For that matter, what will you do?

I’m certain if the dead could vote they would tell us to go for it. We all end up dust anyway. I love the dead. They inspire. They lead. They remind me to live every day to the best of my ability. Because one day I will join their ranks in eternal sleep.

People must think I’m strange when they spot the smile on my face as I run out from between the gates of cemeteries.

Wayne Elise, a dating coach, conversation expert, and founder of Charisma Arts, teaches men and women how to approach each other and create genuine connections.

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