Are We Born Racist?

Inside the science of prejudice, stigma, and intergroup relations.

Got Goals? Maximize Your Success in Achieving Them

1) Watch less TV. 2) Eat your veggies. How many of us have New Year's resolutions posted on the mirror or the fridge that look like that? They seem like perfectly reasonable to-do lists, and at least they help us keep the goal in mind. But you can do better. Here's how. Read More

Key to a/my Goal? NEVER, NEVER, NEVER Give up!

NEVER give up.

I never do.

my goal is to appear on National Television to speak about the 1` in 3 women on the planet living behind closed doors because of verbal and physical abuse...in silence,. fear and shame.

The statistics are over 52 million in the U.S. alone.

I have been working like a "Trojan" toward that end for close to 15 years; my research fills a 4-drawer filing cabinet and I am a moderator of an abused survivors; group.

I am an undergraduate Freshman in social work/counseling, because I wrote about my life of persevering and won a scholarship. I am 65 and still feel 18...I have as much passion and energy as any 18 year old (good genes!)

www.soulpoetry.org (site of my book, Sanctuary of the Soul)--poems of anguish, healing, hope, comfort and celebration and to my amazement....my endorsements (some of the 14): Elie Wiesel, Wayne Dyer, Nikki Giovanni, Drs. Alice Miller, Larry Dossey, Clint van Zant, et al.

I will never stop standing up and talking back; I would like to have a program entitled: The Silent Scream...verbal abuse (bullying) is a "pandemic" in the world.

Giving it a try...

Thank you for the article. I've already written up a few if's and then's and can not wait to see the progress.

In the mean time, you made me laugh out loud with your use of the word "yumming". I've already begun to spread it around the office.

Hi Dr. Mendoza-Denton, wow

Hi Dr. Mendoza-Denton, wow I'm honored. Thanks for taking my concerns seriously and for the mention!

My goal was to eat more fresh fruit. What worked for me was when packing my lunch I add a lot of fruit, then when eating lunch I fill up on fruit first before eating anything else.

Back when my goal was to cut back on TV, if I felt the urge for background noise I turned on Rhapsody (online radio), or if I felt the urge to vegetate, I would read a trashy novel. My husband helped my by using a headphone to watch TV so that I would be less tempted.

Terry

Addiction vs Yumming

"Whaaa-hoo!! We love to chew!!" That's been stuck in my head. Thanks Rudy ;D

If... then doesn't work for food addiction. Food cravings, binging not yumming, the thoughts about food, the agitation. Your physiology needs the change. You can enforce willpower, that's a big part of it. But it's not the only thing. It's another top down approach.

However, since a lot of bloggers didn't think dieters are addicted, if...then is a good way to practice good yumming habits.

Implementing Goals

There is a lot of stuff out there about how to accomplish goals and how to avoid procrastination.

One of the approaches often cited is to focus on one or just a few things (tasks) at a time.

Losing weight, for example, may involve changing a number of habits, so it may be necessary to focus on one or two at a time.

One tool people often use is a checklist, or a to-do list, and a schedule. So if we resolve to sleep eight hours, we schedule a bedtime and a wake-up time. There is a saying, "If it's important enough to do, then it's important enough to schedule." Many people will find scheduling abhorrent, but scheduling will improve the likelihood of success. That's why companies use this tool.

Your if..then programming statement seems like a useful tool, but I would just call it a cue. I think it's the same idea, but different terminology. If I start yawning, that's my cue to check my watch, and if it's bedtime... then I go to bed. I use the yawning as a cue for going to bed.

I am confused by the terminology "implementation intention". It sound like complicated terminology for a "plan". But for sure, plans improve the likelihood of successfully reaching a goal.

Goals Will Not Get You There

Goals are vague and grandiose statements about something we hope or wish will come true. And whether or not it comes to fruition is usually projected on to some external influence.

I teach the concept of the well formed outcome from Academic Life Coaching.

1. Must be stated in the positive (no 'I wants" or "I wish". It helps to word it as if it already happened and tie a vision to it.)
2. Getting started and the success or failure of the outcome must depend entirely upon your ability to control it. (there is so much in life you cannot control)
3. Must have a reasonable size to time ratio
4. It is specific and measurable

This puts the entire outcome within the control of the person setting it.

The result being either success or failure of the desired outcome, there can be a measure of success just in following your process. Every uptick in confidence and resilience counts. And each requirement gives you something specific to tweak for the next attempt.

Goals Will Not Get You There

Goals are vague and grandiose statements about something we hope or wish will come true. And whether or not it comes to fruition is usually projected on to some external influence.

I teach the concept of the well formed outcome from Academic Life Coaching.

1. Must be stated in the positive (no 'I wants" or "I wish". It helps to word it as if it already happened and tie a vision to it.)
2. Getting started and the success or failure of the outcome must depend entirely upon your ability to control it. (there is so much in life you cannot control)
3. Must have a reasonable size to time ratio
4. It is specific and measurable

This puts the entire outcome within the control of the person setting it.

The result being either success or failure of the desired outcome, there can be a measure of success just in following your process. Every uptick in confidence and resilience counts. And each requirement gives you something specific to tweak for the next attempt.

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Rodolfo Mendoza-Denton, Ph.D., is a social/personality psychologist at the University of California, Berkeley.

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