It's summer! It's hot out. It's break-up season! But do you have a plan? Read More
The camp that I am in after weighing all the different scenarios about who is happy, who is sad and whether is anyone neutral and ready to move to Switzerland is that Michael Bruce is one man who has way too much time on his hands and would profit by better occupying his time.
Perhaps Roy, Pam, and Jim should turn to Michael (Michael Scott, that is) for his say on the matter. That's what camp in in :)
I guess that Pam's happiness is only temporary and is probably going to hurt more in the long run. Having a temporary solution (Jim) can't be a good thing - hiding the pain and problems will only cause pain later on? Also hurting two people on route... Surely the 'non grieving' and the guilt of breaking 2 peoples hearts will have an impact as time goes on??
I am a Roy in this sitation (despite being a woman?!) - Little did I know that the relationship had a planned rebound... only to find out 4 days after the break-up. I guess, in my own world, I hope that Pam's happiness is only temporary...
Whenever a significant other says "we should see other people", they already are.
First, a sorry to Hannah - but you are definitely better off without that guy. And the poster who said When...they already are - is spot on.
All I can say is honesty is best and flaunting new love is cruel and repulsive when you are hurting someone.
By the time that thoughts turn to others - and actually AT the time the eyes and mind wander...the decent person either works on the relationship or ends it truthfully and sensitively.
First he joined the gym, Then asked for a break(or broke up with me). 2 weeks after I called him. He already met someone.He planned a trip to Miami with his friends and he said " After the break I feel better than before. I met someone, I see I have options out there. We made a mistake having a relationship(3 years relationship)"we have different taste in things. I lost 30lbs and I feel great and I am doing powerful things now." after this speech from him I was devastated. I hope one day he doesn't feel the way I feel right now.
Everyone has the right to be happy and to move on, but don't give me this greater good BS. I've had partners do all kinds of crazy dances hinting at how perhaps we should be looking at our options etc. only to hear she's getting married a few weeks later. Her hiding her choice of moving on and in humoring me did nothing but delay her own happiness and confuse the heck out of me. If she had simply said to me that she had decided to move on I would have been sad initially but that would be the end of it and I would not have to go through a situation similar to Anonymous above. So in this example 'her & Jim would be happy and the time Roy would spend feeling sad would be reduced.
Needing a rebound in place before jumping ship is a sign of a lack of confidence in your own ability to navigate those emotional waters known as the sea of love and heartbreak and of where have all my damn CDs gone?
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Michael Bruce works with at-risk youth and is the editor of College Sex - Philosophy for Everyone: Philosophers With Benefits (Wiley-Blackwell).
When and how should we open up to loved ones?