Fortunately, connection soothes both fear and shame, and greatly eases negotiation about behaviors. Connected, couples can solve problems. Disconnected, they will get lost in torrents of resentment and anger caused by their fear and shame.

Take the fear-shame quiz for women or men

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Tags: aggression, alarm systems, anger, anthropomorphizing, ben hur, better hearing, chariots, compassion, culprit, dynamic present, emotional energy, fear, female fear, inconsiderate, intruders, marital disputes, marriage, poor communication skills, predators, relationships, resentment, sense of smell, sexual dimensions, shame, social animals, startles