Anger in the Age of Entitlement

Cleaning up emotional pollution

The perfect storm: How we inadvertently contribute to family abuse

stormAlthough few of us are guilty of direct abuse of other people, and, for the most part, we try not to be rude to others, we all unwittingly contribute to rudeness and abuse by increasing the emotional pollution around us. Read More

Emotional states

It seems that each of the individuals were in a negative emotional state that built up to a point of acting out in a negative way. So if I were in the emotional state of core value would it then help counteract these emotional pollutants versus what happened in the perfect storm?



respecting disrespect

Do you have any thoughts on anger and respect? I feel like in this age of constant self-assertion, assertion and agression are often confused as are compassion and passivity. Agression has emerged as something to be valued, even respected, and people equate active compassion with being a doormat. There is no sense of taking the high road anymore. I know so many women who joke about being a "bitch" and actually feel pretty good about that. I know people at work that are rude and immature and gain tons of respect. "Joe, doesn't take anything from anyone." Another of my co-workers handles herself with dignity and works hard and with compassion. She is nobody's doormat, but she isn't moving up the ranks as fast as Joe and some other bullies. Since when did flicking off strangers on the highway become a right and not something to be ashamed of?

The Bite of the Vampire

You are describing the sad effects of emotional pollution, wherein low-grade aggression finds continual reinforcement, until, reeling from the bite of the vampire, we have a compulsion to make others like ourselves. We pass it on. And the more we feed the vampire within, the stronger it gets. But compassion for the basic humanity of even those who behave badly is like the proverbial holy water on the neck that vampires cannot bite. In the long run your compassionate friend will fair better – she won’t continually create revenge motives in others and won’t waste her concentration on resentment, making her intelligence and creativity available for her best work. Most important, she is true to her nature and will feel more real. Bravado aside, those who identify with aggression face an internal war of guilt and shame that only an iron-clad ego can mask.

The Perfect Storm...

A life-time of events can create a perfect storm. We all store trauma in the brain. We can have bright minds, mean well, to ourselves and others. Basic innocence from a birth right. We all have choices to make. We all evolve differently. All I have to type is Two buildings- not towers, and Two airplanes.

The human mind and spirit can overcome obstacles. All of my life, I have overcome obstacles. I see the adversities of this life, and have always tried to look for the good. I just recently discovered that no matter how hard one may try to overcome a life-time of challenges, one must still try to measure your obstacles that you have overcome; in the face of huge challenges.

Losses or what may be the ultimate challenge. One's perspective... I have been writing a book- it seems a life-time, about the our prison's witin. The title will of the book will be titled: Once upon a prison. I actualy am blessed. I was medically retired at the mere age of 32. I lost my ability to walk or talk, for some-time... Too many shots fired... I was working in an actual max prison. I was and still am a high achiever.

No matter, our precious brains are not designed for warfare. Not any war-zone. Not even one that you may call "home". In my book- I describe as eloquently as possible; you do not have to go to a real prison to discover what your own prison within is about... I am hopeful my comments have been insightful, and helpful to any human being, trying to overcome any challenges, adversities, or a perfect storm.

I would have never understood this psychological terminology, had I not had the support of a diligent Dr. specializing with regard to Post-traumatic stress disorder. I can assure you- we all live with this to some degree. This disorder in the brain- does not discriminate. Like a computer... Your brain is like software and your body is the hardware. Two regions store trauma. A person has to overcome the obstacle courses of life, or the dilemma may become insurmountable. Appreciate what you can, during this short journey.

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Steven Stosny, Ph.D., treats people for anger and relationship problems. Recent books: How to Improve your Marriage without Talking about It, and Love Without Hurt.


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