Anger in the Age of Entitlement

Cleaning up emotional pollution.
Steven Stosny, Ph.D., treats people for anger and relationship problems. Recent books: How to Improve your Marriage without Talking about It, and Love Without Hurt. See full bio

Comments on "Engines of Emotional Pollution"

Engines of Emotional Pollution

Operating almost entirely on an unconscious level, four mechanisms give force and power to emotional pollution. In fact, the four mechanisms - contagion, attunement, negative bias, and reactivity -- govern most human interactions. Read More

Holy Ghost

On a purely religious note (that actually coincides with the post) I grew up in a southern Church of God In Christ where holy people fervently wished to "catch the holy ghost." This phenomena works in the way of a great rushing spirit sweeping the church, causing individuals to convulse, "speak in tongues", roll on the floor, run around the building, etc. It was a romantic notion to me, that God's spirit could so powerfully effect regular human being like me. So when I was about nine or ten (maybe 12, i forget) I endeavored to catch the holy ghost. I did it, it was fun. A lot of speaking jibberish and flailing my arms, etc. What I can say to non-believers is that in much the same way group-think operates, the holy ghost behaves the same. So the sensation of being out of control of your body and swept up in the ecstacy of Christ is a very real feeling in so much as I wasn't forcing myself to behave so strangely or even acting on my own impulses.

As I got older, I think I became an agnostic. At any rate, the power of the holy ghost seems completely transparent to me. And to add icing to the cake of disbelief, I recently went to a rock concert and experienced the same rapturous swelling of ecstacy. The moves were different, sure. Less arm flailing and more fist punching the air, Corna, moshing, and general upheaval. But the feeling was exactly the same.

I went away wondering if indeed the Holy Ghost shows up to hear My Chemical Romance just He does to here "Amazing Grace." No...He doesn't. But turns out group-think and being one with the crowd can happen anywhere. Go figure.

Cultural differences

Dr. Stosny,
In the section on "Attunement" in this post you said the following:

"However, we are far more accurate in sensing what others feel than in knowing what they think."

Is this ability to sense what others feel culture-dependent? What I mean to say is, are we accurate in sensing what others feel only if they are culturally similar to us or does our ability to do so extend to our interactions with those who are culturally different?

Emotional states are more

Emotional states are more biological and, therefore, not as variable among cultures as are thoughts, ideas, opinions, tastes, and preferences. However, our interpretation of emotional states is subject to all kinds of personal and cultural biases. In general, we are more likely to be right if we separate the appraisal of the emotional state – sad, happy, angry, etc. – from what it means to the person having it and from what the person having it is thinking. But there is no question that the accuracy of the appraisal declines with greater distance from the appraiser.

Hello guys.

Hello all. I just joined the site and I'm making my first post.

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