New studies are showing that there is a great deal more stress and anger in our lives. Much of it is spilling into the home, creating a tense atmosphere of walking on eggshells.
Most people want their relationships to go well; they want to prevent criticism, cold shoulders, angry outbursts, or the silent treatment - all common effects of emotional pollution. They go through psychological contortions, second-guessing themselves, editing what they say, worrying if they're doing things well enough, trying hard not to set him or her off. When you do this over a period of time, you lose a sense of who you are. You either internalize blame for your partner's resentment, anger, even abusive tendencies, or you take them on and become resentful, angry, or abusive yourself. In either case, you don't like the person you've become.
It's not breaking the eggs that does the lasting harm - people are resilient when it comes to healthy conflict. Continually walking on the eggshells to avoid ugly conflict causes increasing stress. Emotional hurt has a way of lingering in the times between resentful or angry flare-ups. The empty, dull ache of unhappiness is most accurately measured in the accumulative effect of these small moments of disconnection, isolation, and dread.
