Ambigamy

Insights for the deeply romantic and deeply skeptical

Seven Alternative Explanations For Know-It-All Behavior

Some folks never guess, bet, believe or think; they just know. You can't speculate with them. You explore; they decree. But they may not actually be as arrogant as they sound. Here are seven other explanations for a person's inability to recognize the grey areas in thought and conversation. Read More

Bad examples

The following example in your article was truly awful:-

“I think she found the meeting disappointing.”
“No, she’s fine.”

Comments like these are normally made by people wanting to stir up some juicy gossip and the second response is more to do disengage from such trivial conversations. Also, you have to ask yourself why the person who made the first comment is so hung up on what "she" felt.

Fantastic

Excellent! Narcissists of the world, read this!

You just described how my parents interact. And why some of their more conversationally aware friends have distanced themselves. It can be exhausting to interact with "fight or die", and it becomes charity time (big tolerant compassionate sigh) when you find yourself having to put up with it because for various reasons, you must.

The people who most need to read this article and deeply understand it, are not going to read it or deeply understand it. Still it is nice to bookmark it and keep it in my arsenal of "thoughtful gifts".

:-)

That's so true of so many

That's so true of so many articles--read by those who need them least.

There are lots of articles on narcissism. Here I was trying to imagine alternative explanations for seemingly narcissistic behavior, not to cut any of us slack on the tendency but to recognize that we come by the tendency honestly sometimes.

As for charity, that touches on another interesting bind I've thought and written about. Is it more charitable to humor such people or to honor them by treating them as tough, smart and well-intended enough to hear when they're being blowhards.

Often confronting such folks forces a behavior I've called "insistent replay." You push back even the least little bit and they punish you by repeating their entire blowhard argument from scratch as though if you disagree with them, you must not have heard them. It forces us to charitable humoring. I mean what else can you do by then?

Thanks for writing and thinking with me.

Jeremy

Know-It-All Behavior - Take heed All Psychiatrists and Psychologists

Know-It-All Behavior -------- Take heed All Psychiatrists and Psychologists as this may apply to you

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Jeremy Sherman is an evolutionary epistemologist studying the natural history and practical realities of decision making.

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