Ambigamy

Insights for the deeply romantic and deeply skeptical

What If Wedding a Moral Principle Were Like Marriage?

We wed people, Gods and moral principles. As we become a more tolerant society we see people trying the range of lifestyles for love, spirituality and morality. Here we explore the parallels between those three realms and the variety of lifestyle options. Read More

Here is some behavior that is just as immoral

Spouses morally stray too if they pretend that they are true spouses (sending all those honest signals) all the while simultaneously refusing to be intimate with the other spouse. True, moral spouses don't enjoy all the perks of marriage, putting on a façade - and turn a cold, loveless shoulder once out of sight of others. Partners are ripped off royally when you act like a spouse to the outside world but don't behind closed doors. I think it is hypocritical to enjoy all the perks of marriage while leaving your spouse intimately/loveless and high and dry, then get all morally outraged if they slip and fall.

You cannot insist on (non mutual) chastity within the framework of marriage.

If one believes that bigamy is morally wrong, then one also believes never to turn away their spouses need for love. They will, from a moral perspective - keep themselves to a high level of duty intimate care for their partner.

If believes that bigamy is NOT morally wrong, then go ahead, turn a cold shoulder to the spouse and the probability is high that you will reap what you sow - your spouse will stray.

-----"I have no moral objection to any moral lifestyle but the bigamist’s."

I do. It is immoral to insist on sexual fidelity from your spouse all the while failing to engage them intimately through disenfranchisement over the long haul. It is immoral to practice autonomy over your own sexuality and over your spouse's, all the while refusing to be their lawful supplier of intimacy.

To me that is the same as bigamy. That is having your cake and eating it too - like bigamy.

Passive and active bigamy are full brothers to each other.

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Jeremy Sherman is an evolutionary epistemologist studying the natural history and practical realities of decision making.

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