Ambigamy

Insights for the deeply romantic and deeply skeptical

Alien Intelligent Life Would Deny Climate Change Too

We are probably not alone. Aliens would avoid inconvenient truths too.

My studies are broad. I research

  • the physical origins of life anywhere in the universe
  • the origins and consequences of language
  • human social psychology and decision making
  • climate change

Occasionally I write poems too. Nothing fancy. Just doggerel.

I wrote this poem a while ago to make a point supported by an astrobiologist I know at Nasa. It’s just a speculation, an argument that chances are good we aren’t the first planet on which intelligent life—that is, creatures with language—discovered and consumed suddenly an enormous reserve of fossil fuels, while denying that it was causing disaster until long after it was too late. 

The argument spans the range of my research interests and can be bulleted here.

  • All life forms sequester energy that at death becomes available as fuel.
  • Organisms capable of language if they emerge at all, would be late-comers in any biosphere, emerging after lots of available fuel was sequestered.
  • Like all creatures this intelligent life form would expand population, consume more or waste exploit whatever resources it could as fast as possible.
  • Quick consumption of long sequestered resources is likely to wreak havoc
  • As is evident in the difference between engineering and philosophy, science and religion, math and politics, logic and rhetoric, language allows for, but doesn’t impose precision. Thus the engineering language required for exploiting sequestered fuel would be available long before the language for cornering an intelligent life form with the inconvenient truth that they were being fuelish.

Here’s the poem.

Find a Therapist

Search for a mental health professional near you.

Yeah. All right,
so we're stupid.
Just look at the mess we have made.

We didn't foresee
how treed we'd be
once our habits began to cascade.

The climate will get us,
it's now almost sure
we've blown this planet's best chances

Our minds can't keep pace,
we can't seem to face
the costs of our high-tech advances

We can't keep our hands off
the fuel we've found.
We just can’t seem to conserve

Interstellar-ly framed,
we should all be ashamed
that we wasted this precious preserve.

But it isn't just us,
I bet if we knew
the havoc that aliens wreak

I mean, what are the odds
that they're gods, but we're clods
I mean are we so awfully unique?

I mean what is the likelihood
we are alone
in evolving linguistical gifts?

The power to plot
out our lot as it's not
To give our frail sprits their lifts

Somewhere for sure
in the heavens above
we would find there are like-minded creatures

whose language enables
a life lived by fables
that obscure their world's scariest features.

And like us they can't
have evolved all at once,
this ain't, after all God's dominion.

Evolution shows Homme
wasn't built in a day.
That's not just some hair brained opinion.

Talking aliens evolved
over millions of years
just like we did, and what gave them birth

Would have died out before them
like dinos and ferns
interred just like ours in their earth.

Chemistry's laws
would apply to them too.
Their dinos, like ours turned to fuels

Which aliens, like we
would eventually free
up to run all their handiest tools

I mean which would come first,
the wisdom we lack
to admit there's disaster impending,

or the skills that we've got
to burn all that fuel hot
like a windfall resource never-ending?

No, they just like us
would be hooked on the sauce
long before they foresaw where it led.

They'd waste years like it took us
to say "This will cook us.
Our lives now, they hang by a thread!"

No, an alien form
that could also transform
buried fuel into usable joules

would have rhetoric vague
by which questions they'd beg
and pretend they could bend all the rules.

Our well-oiled minds
can transport us along
as we build for our better tomorrows.

But lacking in traction
we glide toward distraction
ignoring tomorrow's new sorrows.

Realistically speaking
we're thousands of years
from instilling in minds the right friction

To hold us to truths
we shouldn't ignore
and keep us from drifting toward fictions. 

Time we don't have,
but again, as I say,
aliens wouldn't do better.

We can't be the first
in the whole universe
to have lived out this plot to the letter.

Must-read new article on the climate crisis:
Global Warming's New Math

Jeremy Sherman is an evolutionary epistemologist studying the natural history and practical realities of decision making.

more...

Subscribe to Ambigamy

Current Issue

Let It Go!

It can take a radical reboot to get past old hurts and injustices.