Ambigamy

Insights for the deeply romantic and deeply skeptical

10 Ways to Say Sorry: From the Most Condescending to the Most Authentic

Top 10 ways to say "sorry," from the most condescending to the most authentic.

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Take an easy case: I borrowed something from you and broke it.

1. Well Jeez aren't you picky. Sorreee.
2. Sorry if that made you feel the need to whine and complain.
3. Sorry if that upset you
4. Sorry that that upset you
5. Sorry if I screwed up
6. Sorry that I screwed up
7. Sorry that I borrowed your thing and broke it. From now on I won't ever rely on you for a favor ever again.
8. Sorry that I borrowed your thing and broke it. I owe you a new one.
9. Sorry that I borrowed your thing and broke it. I owe you a new one and I'll try to do better.
10. Sorry that I borrowed your thing and broke it. I owe you a new one and from now on I'm going to return things to you in working order immediately after using them so that I can maintain your trust in me.

Jeremy Sherman is an evolutionary epistemologist studying the natural history and practical realities of decision making.

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