"The reason default is no better idea today than when Newt Gingrich tried it in 1995, is it destroys your brand and would give the president opportunity to blame Republicans for a bad economy. Look, he owns the economy. He's been in office almost three years now and we refuse to let him entice us into co-ownership of a bad economy."
Mitch McConnell, Republican Senate Minority Leader
Dad: Kids, your mother and I have called us all together for a little budget meeting.
Son: Good dad because I've been worried about it. You see...
Dad: Yes, it has come to my attention that our expenses are increasing dangerously ever since your mother took over managing our finances.
Daughter: I thought mom took over the budget because our expenses were increasing dangerously.
Son: Yeah it was after you bought all that sporting equipment, the boat and the hunting gear and took us on those weird family trips, and they threatened to foreclose on the house because we couldn't pay the mortgage.
Mom: That's true. That's when I took it over.
Dad: Spending has been way out of line lately. It has got to stop. You will all have to tighten your belts. Mom, you especially.
Mom: You do realize that after the mortgage our biggest expense these days is interest on the credit card debt?
Dad: It's just too much. I've told you all along that you're way too wasteful.
Mom: But the credit card interest is mostly on things that you insisted we buy.
Dad: You can't pin it on me! You've been out on the boat with me too! You came on those trips!
Daughter: But dad you insisted on those trips. That's why we went. We told you back then that we thought we couldn't afford them and that they weren't worth it.
Dad: We took those trips because they were the right thing to do. They made our family stronger.
Son: You said they would. We doubted you but we went along. But no, they didn't make the family stronger. They put us in debt and they were weird.
Dad: No, they made us stronger. Look, I'm not going to argue. I called this meeting and I won't be distracted. What I wanted to say is that we really can't afford medicine for your asthma any more son, and we certainly can't afford to pay for schooling either. So we'll have to home school.
Mom: Dear who has time to home school? We're both working. Your plan isn't realistic.
Dad: Also I've decided that I'm giving way too much of my income to this family and that it's weakening us. The family will be much stronger if I keep the money I make. I'll be happier and that will make me more generous around the house, which will make the family stronger.
Mom: If you keep your income for yourself, we're not going to be able to pay even the credit card interest we owe.
Dad: That is certainly not my problem. The credit card interest became a problem on your watch, not mine.
Daughter: Dad you're being unrealistic.
Dad: Nonsense, I'm being highly principled: There is no greater power for good in this world than individual liberty.
Son: No, she's right. I could die without my asthma medicine . You owe us a good education and there's no way you can provide it through home schooling.
Dad: You can get it through the Internet.
Mom: But we can't pay for the Internet if you keep your income for yourself.
Dad: You don't need the Internet.
Son: But you just said I did.
Dad: The Internet is just what I'm talking about. It's an unnecessary expense.
Daughter: Uh-oh, Dad's talking crazy again.
Dad: I demand respect little girl. You spoiled brat, don't you know anything about common courtesy.
Mom: Don't talk to our daughter that way.
Dad: She started it with her accusation. I'm just defending myself.
Son: She has a point dad.
Dad: There you all go teaming up on me. You've never really cared about the budget, just about blaming me for everything.
Mom: Actually, I want to say something and it's important. I need you all to know I'm filing for divorce.
