Here's a song I wrote about Ambigamy's central paradox: To be uncompromisingly free we must compromise. Romantic love is just carefree, the dream that we can be ourselves, un-edited and adored. But not everything about us is adorable or even safe at close range, so to make our partners feel safe enough to adore us, we have to edit ourselves. We want to dance free with our partners, spinning, arms wide like a Deadhead feeling the spirit, but swinging like that, people get hurt so we have to tuck in our elbows. True love is a combination of carefree and cautious.
As the song says, the challenge is figuring out when to just be yourself and when to edit yourself.
Loving you I feel so free
I can say anything
Throat wide open it
Flies right out
I feel no doubt
‘Cept when out flew
