All About Sex

Men, if you can't get an erection and are in a relationship with someone you deeply care about... Please.. Bring on the toys.. bring on the hands.... bring on the tounge.. do SOMETHING... Don't use that as an excuse not to erouse the woman you love. If shes not getting satisfied from you, she will find it somewhere else OR... she will be sad stuck in a relationship STARVING for sex and have pity on you. You can do so much without an erection. That's not the end all be all in orgasms for women. Trust me... You need to over compensate for problem. You can actually appear MORE manly by stepping up and making sure woman is satisfied. Don't let your bed be a graveyard.!!! I am pretty sure you can still have an orgasm without an erection.. if you have the right woman,... pleasure her. Do what it takes to help her orgasm... and then it's your turn. She will make sure you are pleased regardless if you are fully erected or squishy... Don't fret over this.. Seriously...!!! Don't feel like your manhood is any less... Rise up and serve and she will make you happy. Trust me!!

Yeah, well, before any of you guys out there with ED get too excited about trying Viagra etc. to cure your marital problems, just make damn sure your wife ACTUALLY wants to resume having sex with you!

Me? I'm in my 60's and never had ED, not even once. And never failed to have a good orgasm with sexual activity. Unfortunately, I think it has created too much of a contrast to my wife, who has never had an orgasm, and now in menopause has given up and won't even let me touch her sexually (hugging and kissing is fine, but that's as far as she'll let me go).

Perhaps if I had periods of ED and appeared to need some effort to get an erection, she'd see me as more vulnerable and human.

By the way, the comment about men after a certain age not being able to have an erection from fantasy alone? Baloney. And I'm over 60.

The part about older couples discontinuing intercourse because the woman is menopausal and dry? I'm not OK with the implication that I should be happy with other forms of sex from now on.

Look, the problem isn't if two people both can't have intercourse and are happy with it. The biggest problem is discrepancy in drive and physical functioning.

As a man who has no performance problems whatsoever in my 60's, and a wife who isn't the least bit interested, I do have sympathy for women who are willing lovers and men who have ED. I think I'd hate to see an advice column about how I should be happy with a soft penis. Sure she might love him and take pity on him, just like I do my wife.

The other persons (male, 2)attest that they have no performance problems whatsoever. They should read and answer these. It is obvious that at least two have not read sexual research papers.

A lot was missed in this article.
1)Male sexual peak is approximately 18 years of age.
2)Males know this and actively / passively hide this truth.
3)Males Erectile Quality begins to erode in the 20s.
4)Angle of erection changes in the mid 20s.
5)Refractory Time is noticeably longer by age 25.
6)Male Hormones begin to decline in the 20s.
7) Male Hormone Decline is very quantifiable & lower by 30 years.
8) All males notice fewer orgasms possible in a set time by 25.
9)By early 30s male multiple orgasm is usually over.
10) By 40, 52% of males have some issue with ED.

The article does does clearly state the research which shows the above. Articles usually gloss over or ignore these truths which are very important and relevant to male sexual satisfaction.

Normal Male Sexual Ageing is ignored by health care professionals. There is never a clear discussion. The best that happens is that when it happens, instead of Male Sexual Decline being a known factor that should be quantified for each individual male by regular testing and awareness, the health care professional says, "Oh. This is normal.You can do other things and still keep sex enjoyable".

There is never any discussion of the fact that:
11)Males do not like the fact of early sexual peak.
12)Nothing is done to assist males to cope with this.
13)This knowledge is kept from males.
14)Males are terrified of lessening orgasmic capacity./ Erectile turgidity.
15)Where is the psychological research on these topics?
16) Male Sexual Inequality with Females and its repercussions.
17)Males knowing from an early age they will decline very early and the built-in desperation / psychological avoidance needed / employed.
18) The new norm of "Hooking-Up" with females and the occurrence of females requiring / choosing sex with multiple males over a set time period. (i.e. Proof of male sexual inadequacy? or female desire for more than 1 male can reasonably provide.).

Articles usually only speak to coping, but coping only when it occurs. There is never a discussion of the burden males must carry of their knowledge of early sexual decline.

Males should be measured regularly from 16 years of age.
19) Levels of hormones.
20) Orgasmic capacity.
21) Refractory Period.
22) Penile turgidity./ Erectile Angle.
24) Orgasmic Response.
25) Sexual Response after 40.

Articles such as yours, while important, do not do the topic of Male Sexual Ageing and Response justice.

Both males and females should be aware of what is likely and normal and when Male Sexual Ageing will occur. It is a disservice to not have this available with sexual health education.

It is also never mentioned that there may be, at some point, a male may just be fed up with having to cope by various techniques with his personal male sexual decline. i.e. His sexual reward is insufficient to accept and or cope with his sexual ageing. Too much effort for too little reward.
Solly

Yes, orgasms without erections are possible, but only through masturbation.
A semi-firm penis if correctly handled can give a somewhat pleasant orgasm. I really don't think there is such a thing as an unpleasant orgasm though. I have have ED for two years. It has been than long since I had sex with my wife in her vagina. There has been plenty of oral sex for her. The ED drugs do not work with me. I take injectable Testosterone, and that does not make a big difference. About twice a month I am able to masturbate. Hey I am glad to know it still works. Next week I am going to see urologist number 2. The first one was a jerk and basically wrote me off because of my age. Now I have read about the Viberect device and the NEW pudendal artery (to the penis). There is hope, but in the mean time I will masturbate as often as I can.